Friday, September 05, 2008

Post TItled: Early Morning Conversations With Spam from Barack, part 2-
Once again being a jackass, (I#m italics):

"Paul --


Why would the Republicans spend a whole night of their convention attacking ordinary people?

I don’t know, man. Probably because… they are mean? Mean like... comicbook villains…?

With the nation watching, the Republicans mocked, dismissed, and actually laughed out loud at Americans who engage in community service and organizing.

That would make a good animated miniseries. That also reminds me of a Digable Planets song about Pro-Life folks, actually..."La Femme Fétal," it is called

Our convention was different.

Well, yea. I mean –literally, yea.

We gave the stage to everyday Americans who hunger for change and stepped up to make phone calls, knock on doors, and raise money in small amounts in their communities.

Ok. But wait, people are seriously gonna knock on my door asking for money? I’ve tried that, man, it does NOT go over well. It is awkward. Like, this one lady -I couldn’t even see her face, I just saw the glow of a cigarette and then a ferret crawled up and tried to sniff me through the screen door. This other guy showed up holding a naked kid that was WAY too old to be running around the house naked, and another one did agree to give me money, so she got her purse and started shuffling through it and it turned out she had $20.65, that is –a $20 bill and sixty-five cents in change- so guess how much I got off her? Yes; $0.65. So I dunno if its worth it man, maybe you’ll have better luck than me because you are tall and handsom and smile a lot. Maybe.

You may have missed it, but we also showed the country a video with the faces and voices of those organizers, volunteers, and donors from every corner of the country.

You guessed it: I missed it… missed their faces.

Watch the video and make a donation of $5 or more now

1. Watch video...
2. Make dontion...

to show that in this election, ordinary people will make their voices heard.

Ok, uhm. Question: What do you DO with this money, man? Do you use it to make videos? If you just stopped making videos and sending them to me then I wouldn't NEED to give you money. This is a vicious cycle, Barack... you should maybe talk to someone about this... like, someone who can help you... with this compulsion. Are their half-naked girls in the video?

What you didn't hear from the Republicans at their convention is a single new idea about how to make the healthcare system work, get our economy moving for the middle class, or improve education.

is healthcare one word? health care... anyhow.
Go on…

Just attacks -- on me, and on you.

Shit, man Let’s f*%k their asses up! I got your back, dogg.

But what the McCain attack squad doesn't understand is that people like you -- who devote part of their busy lives to organizing and building their communities -- have the power to change this country.

Isn’t change, like, inevitable? Like, things are always changing. I don’t think we have to work on causing it, man- I mean, …naïve sentiment, -but cute!

With your help, that's exactly what we're going to do.

But I can’t help it! I just SAID I/we can't help it!

Thank you,

No, Barack, thank you. The spell-check says your name is spelled wrong, but nevertheless -you are a wildandcrazy guy. But, I regret to inform you that I have already decided to vote for the Ira Glass / Obama Girl ticket. Keep spamming me though, I like to get your official perspective on things which you wrote yourself.

Barack "

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Blogger Jesi Khadivi said...

paul and i read this out loud over coffee this morning and have been LAUGHING OUR $%#*% ASSSES OFF.

6:35 pm  
Blogger Mithridates said...

Brilliant. Having gotten the same email, I can say that this is really an amazing piece.

1:22 am  

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