Friday, December 05, 2008

PREAMBLE(ABOVE: karmanoia, Dec.4, 2008- stoll/scroll down for more)
Post Titled:
National Goober and Weirdo Gallery
Post Subtitled: Koons and Klee at the Neue Nationalgalerie, Berlin
AKA: Non-Fiction, Dec. 4, 2008
So it is freezing cold, I get out of the u-bahn at potsdamer platz and wander towards the river where the Neue Nationalgalerie. Really cold.
Reasons for going: it is opened late on THursdays, is is supposedly free, and I love Jeff Koons' sh*t.
Realities: The museum is free only in that the permanent exhibit is free on Thursdays. There was no permanent exhibit on display, therefore: nothing was free. To see the entire show (Jeff Koons and Paul Klee) it would cost 18€ (sorry, unfortunately I had to cancel that sellmyblackmarket kidney appointment this morning.)
So, we loitered, wandered, watched the flatscreens w/ German tv interviews with Koons and spent a long time in the book shop sucking up a mini art education. (I woke up this morning with the (just hardly faintly barely legible) word Franz Gertsch written on my hand. NOTE: By the way, that's what happens when you leave the house without a permanent marker.) (and I#m still not convinced that that is the right name) his postcard was sold out so all their was left was a neon green photocopy of the postcard pt there as a placemarker. Not expecting that i think I commented "this one looks like it fell out of a zine."

Flipped through BANKSY's WALL AND PIECE book which is just jam-packed with masterpieces of street art, and laughed. out loud. a lot. on the back cover:

“There’s no way you’re going to get a quote from us to use on your book cover.”
-Metropolitan Police Spokesperson

(However I am still a bit disappointed that the book is copyrighted.)

Upon leaving the museum we were asked for out tickets TO EXIT, I guess the gallery is so effing expensive that this is a preventative measure to prevent those who prevent the gallery from making the most they can on ticket sales.
"Uhm, wir haben keine karten."
The security door guy is looking at me with a semi-blank don'tbullshitme stare, especially since we'd been wandering around for well over an hour.
"Aber ihr wart unten" he lobs the evidence of guilt.
"Ya, aber wir haben nür die Gift Shop besucht und die filme angeguckt, -wir sind eigentlich hirhergekommen weil wir dachten das es heute aben kostenlos war, und haben kein Geld mitgebracht- also- deswegen haben wir eigentlich keine karten gekauft, wir sind einfach herumgelaufen..."
This is clearly beyond his range of understanding, four people show up to the National Gallery, abuse the complimentary coat check by holding the Koons flyer as if they'd bought a ticket (at least I did) and then spent over an hour standing on the main floor (where you can actually see the entire Koons sculpture exhibit, but if you want to be 20-30-40 feet closer then it costs 8€, and then loitering downstairs the +200 Klee (ok, props to Buck who slipped past the docent when he was distracted by a large group who had just arrived and actually saw the Klee show. Meanwhile, Jessica, Joe and I just goofed off in the gift shop, -which is actually just as interesting and playful than the Koons show itself.
"Aber... ihr..."
"Nee, wir haben uberhaupt keine eintrittskarten"

Well, if wir haben keine katen then wir haben keine karten and there's nothing to scan, issue resolved- we go out into the COLD, hit up the Weinachtsmarkt with its über-kitschy Christmas music which would put Mr. Jeff Koons to shame, he'd wet his pants in shock and awe at the German Christmas Market beast. (well, not really, but it'd make for a great short film.)

Went home, dropped off sh*t, went to Karmanoia briefly:

... returned home, slept well. Sometimes (more often than not) I really love my life...

p.s. hey Berlin/Xberg- look familiar??! click:

Seeed - Dickes B
(spotted Dresdner str. by Gorgonzola Club / babylon!

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