Friday, September 01, 2006


"Dear Hewlett-Packard,

I was watching the U.S. Open this morning on the USA network and saw your latest television commercial featuring the hip-hop artist known as "Jay-Z". Of course I am a big fan of your commercials, I find them to be not only visually stimulating but thought-provoking as well, so my compliments. My concern, however is about your choice of Mr.-Z as an HP spokesperson. My cause for concern, HP, is that there is a certain quote in one of the tracks on his album "the Black Album" (track 9 to be exact) that sets off a few little alarms in my head as soon as I realized he was featured in the spot and I'm actually quite surprised it didn't do tha same for you. The lyrics I am referring to go as follows:

"I'm like f*ck critics you can kiss my whole a**hole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a sh*t SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads...f*ckers

I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches niggaz i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me"

Now, I can't vouch for Jay-Z's intelligence and I don't quite understand his lack of want for a girlfriend (or desire to be 'hit' for that matter), but when he states point-blank that his "black ass" can be used for advertising, I was a bit worried. Not worried for him, HP, but for you and your Company, HP. He seems to be taunting "rap magazines" for using him to generate revenue, and since I would assume the aforementioned "rap mags" are dearer to his heart than a company like yours which makes printers, I simply can't imagine what he might have to say about you in lyrics to come.
It made me wonder: "Have you been had, HP? Is Jay-Z taking you for a ride?" Have you considered that he might be taking you for a ride, HP? And I'm not talking about a ride in his lowrider, no- I mean a RIDE.

I'm a big fan of your products, HP, I'm just looking out for your interests, really, just in case your marketing department hasn't listened to the Black Album through-and-through 5 dozen times as I and my children have. I mean, Mr.-Z is a very talented guy, my son (who happens to be half black) told me that Jay never even writes down his lyrics beforehand, (it is all freestyled!) so perhaps when he said those things about cash and advertising he was just having a bad day and it spilled out. I'd like to extend the benefit of the doubt... If he'd had time to sit, think, draft and revise then I'm sure he wouldn't've said such things and then I wouldn't feel the need to write you this letter at all.
Well, that's all really, best to you and your company and Mr. Z (if he ever puts out another album- you know he sprinkles innuendoes all throughout "the Black Album" that it would be his last album, so we'll see-)

Latonya Bowers,
Germantown, Maryland "


Google Book Search


Post a Comment

<< Home