Post titled: Enter the Fortress (a.k.a. me complaining about the American Consulate)

but first:

Ask yourself a question: "How many times have I stepped in dog poop over the last few years?"



In late October Berlin passed a law that made it a 35€ fine for not scooping your dog's poop, and when I got here it WAS out of control, literally EVERYWHERE, but it has gotten better, alas- this did not prevent me from stepping in it again last night in the cold and the rain. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Second time in three weeks, before that it was once in 10 years... at least it is considered good luck here...

Anyhow.

Ironically the most faschist-looking-and-feeling thing I've encountered thus far is the American Consulate, a walled/fenced/guarded compound. The Olympienstadion comes in a close second, maily for its lack of troops.

I gave up all my electronic devices (locked in a locker) and went through the metal detector in order to enter the Botschaft von die Vereinigte Staaten von Amerika today (Consulate) to shell out 30€ for a piece of paper that says I've never been married before because I raised my right hand and said I'd never been married before. How absurd. Tacky bulletinboards with tax, avian flu, German-American ommunity Builing and Support group info lined the walls. A largest wall was full of religious/church-group paraphanelia (in a government building?) and there were also weird posters scattered about glorifying the natural beauty of Idaho, Montana, Texas, etc... I always wonder how life would be if I would've been born and raised in Texas... would I never've left? Mottos of 'Everything's Bigger in Texas' and 'Don't Mess with Texas' pong-ing around the inside of my skull... perhaps. I remember the moment in 7th grade when we found out that we'd either be moving to Montana or Germany... 'Montana,...î I thought ' I could get into that... wilderness, animals,cowboys and stuff...' but to this day I still haven't set foot in Montana.

The Consulate was a sharp contrast to most government buildings (american OR german) that I've frequented recently, namely because of it's 'one-false-move-and-we'll-shoot' feeling. There was one of those scary Marine with the little politist hats looking like the liguid-metal Terminator behind bulletproof glass in the lobby (or, rather, the maze or bars and directions and cameras that migt once have been a lobby) and that was AFTER the 2 Polizei and 3 security guards plus 3 doors that one must wait at until allowed entry, whew. Just thinking about it I hear that Michael Jacskon chorus 'I always feeel like somebdddys waaaaatttchin' meeeeee' On the second floor in the waiting room was a couple with a newborn and a Orchestral musician from Chile who had American citizenship but needed approval to travel to Abu Dhabi (sp?) for a concert. And me. More Americans than I've seen in the last three weeks total.

Sitting in the waiting room, I thought I might feel like:

'oh, Americans, familiarity- these are my people...'

but all I felt was:

'everyone is trying to get in and out first, they're hovering like cobras, and if it were allowed they could cheat and bite to get to the head of the line. Me first, gimme gimme. They mean nothing to one another.' and one could feel the apathy eminate. OR hover over your shoulder like this Sex and the City b*tch did, WHILE you're having your appointment and allow her two-year-old Burberry-wearing son to crawl on you. I do not like Sex and the City b*tches. (pardon the crude language) But It's like : WAKE UP, you don't live in an effing TV SHOW! Put the cellphone down and look me in the eye when you ask a question, damn. And stop trying to cut in line just because your 36 and dressed all nice.' (sorry, I'm a bit flustered) Literally,this woman ignored everyone in the waitiing room as soon as she entered and went straight to hovering over my shoulder trying to get the civil servant's attention while she is giving me instructions. UGH. For some reason a æ profile of Truman giving a speech in full color popped into my head 'my fellow citizens... I'm just trying to get there before you, by hook or by crook.' Wasn't he in a wheelchair? No that was FDR. Perhaps if Truman had a wheelchair it would have retractable blades like Ben Hur. I know nothing about Truman

I didn't have to wait toooo terribly long, a half-hour or so, but I did swear through two layers of bulletproof glass that I have never been married before, they even have one of those sliding drop-droors so wou couldn't hold the place up... so paranoid, the Americans, soooo paranoid... and rightfully so, I suppose, heh.

I did listen to the election coverage and probably found out about the results before most stateside-americans because of the time difference, but still... will this make any difference... even with these so-called do-good-ing Democrats, will things be any less insane? Hmm...

I wonder if they took down the photo of Rumsfeld from the wall of leaders in the 'lobby' of the consulate yet... and what do thay DO with the photo once they take it down? Raffle it off? Throw it away? Put it in a filing cabinite with all teh other things in filing cabinet...?