4professionals
Post Titled: Last Thursday Non-Fiction 9pm-12.30am.(ish)
NY College Girls corner us talking to musicians next to me fervently for a LONG time, basically frying my circuts- I can't handle this amount of energy being blasted from people's mouthes any longer... bar started off being half non-smoking but that has long since been forgotten as the night goes on and people drink more- yep, so goes the Berlin smoking ban.
The NY College Girls then notice the German copy of Franny und Zooey laying face down in front of me on the table, I had hardly even noticed it myself:
"Omigod! Is that yours?"
"Uhm, no I think it belongs to the bar- it is in German" I mumbled back.
"Omigod, that is like me FAVORITE BOOK! I usually carry a copy with me in my purse. Have you read 9 stories?" (switches back to talk to musicians) "Have you read 9 Stories? No? I will TOOOOTAlllly bring you a copy next week- omigod, it is sooo good! You have to read it."
The radiation is begininning to melt my eyes. What is up with hipster girls peeing their pants over Salinger? It is practically a right of passage... and now am I in the too-cool/jaded/sad about life phase/stage to find Salinger romantic any longer?-how sad, hmm.
Just sort of... playing with the candle wax, trying to remember if I had another €2 to get another beer to make myself less productive at work tomorrow... checking a pocket, then leaving it alone for a bit... and then checking again a few minutes later, as if a €2 coin would magically appear out of thin air if I wasn't looking... mh. It is Friday tomorrow, afterall... and... since the live music ended the number of attractive women in room seems to be thinning... dwindling... disappearing or are they getting scared-off by the creepy crazy noisy old man in the corner or is it us or are they just going home to boyfriends?- (?) , grr-, going going gone-ing my focues is fuzzy-ing, loud girls go on and on- "NY NY NY" jackammering butterflies- but don't get me wrong, I think NY is great- but not when it is slapping me in the face. Americans. Loud. Louder than anyone else in the room by a good number of decibels... like Spinal Tap turned up to "11" in conversation. I suddenly think: "I want to come back here, actually... more often... really cozy."
and on and on they go:
"Ohmigod if you went more than a month without paying rent in New Your you'd like, totallly be in JAIL! Know of any affordable apartments nearby?..."
Jesus. Exhaustion. American electro-overhyperness. Augh. Sucking. Energy. Can't. Move.
(they leave after a final death-ray blast of high-focus chatter. 10 minutes later I find myself sitting next-to one remaining American College girl:
"Oh god... I mean, I've been here for, like, almost 4 weeks and I am sooo depressed and lonely and bored, like, I thought it would be easier to meet people... like, there's a lot going on but i just don't know how to meet people and- you know- I feel really wierd and lost."
Me: "Yea. There are a shitload of Americans in Berlin."( but thinking:jezzzus, you are a STUDENT- you have NO WORRIES except your underdeveloped social life, uhm- where is my machetè? I will help hack up the undergrowth which has entangled you during these last weeks of inactivity you poor girl... need distraction, need... uhm, where did the daffy yet adorable Iranian girl dissappear to which I was talking with for the first hour I was here?... shit, Micah got her. Whatever, good for him.)
American College girl: "Like, I just met those other New York girls tonight because we are all in the same German class... like I showed up and there was, like, no communication with Humboldt and now my classes don't start until April and I just have to hang out and learn German. Sprekken zee Doitsh?"
Me: "Mh. m-hmh."
Not in the mood, noooo... I am a jerk. Sometimes. I did feign interest and give some advice... but... just wanted to be a piece of furniture, really.
NY College Girls corner us talking to musicians next to me fervently for a LONG time, basically frying my circuts- I can't handle this amount of energy being blasted from people's mouthes any longer... bar started off being half non-smoking but that has long since been forgotten as the night goes on and people drink more- yep, so goes the Berlin smoking ban.
The NY College Girls then notice the German copy of Franny und Zooey laying face down in front of me on the table, I had hardly even noticed it myself:
"Omigod! Is that yours?"
"Uhm, no I think it belongs to the bar- it is in German" I mumbled back.
"Omigod, that is like me FAVORITE BOOK! I usually carry a copy with me in my purse. Have you read 9 stories?" (switches back to talk to musicians) "Have you read 9 Stories? No? I will TOOOOTAlllly bring you a copy next week- omigod, it is sooo good! You have to read it."
The radiation is begininning to melt my eyes. What is up with hipster girls peeing their pants over Salinger? It is practically a right of passage... and now am I in the too-cool/jaded/sad about life phase/stage to find Salinger romantic any longer?-how sad, hmm.
Just sort of... playing with the candle wax, trying to remember if I had another €2 to get another beer to make myself less productive at work tomorrow... checking a pocket, then leaving it alone for a bit... and then checking again a few minutes later, as if a €2 coin would magically appear out of thin air if I wasn't looking... mh. It is Friday tomorrow, afterall... and... since the live music ended the number of attractive women in room seems to be thinning... dwindling... disappearing or are they getting scared-off by the creepy crazy noisy old man in the corner or is it us or are they just going home to boyfriends?- (?) , grr-, going going gone-ing my focues is fuzzy-ing, loud girls go on and on- "NY NY NY" jackammering butterflies- but don't get me wrong, I think NY is great- but not when it is slapping me in the face. Americans. Loud. Louder than anyone else in the room by a good number of decibels... like Spinal Tap turned up to "11" in conversation. I suddenly think: "I want to come back here, actually... more often... really cozy."
and on and on they go:
"Ohmigod if you went more than a month without paying rent in New Your you'd like, totallly be in JAIL! Know of any affordable apartments nearby?..."
Jesus. Exhaustion. American electro-overhyperness. Augh. Sucking. Energy. Can't. Move.
(they leave after a final death-ray blast of high-focus chatter. 10 minutes later I find myself sitting next-to one remaining American College girl:
"Oh god... I mean, I've been here for, like, almost 4 weeks and I am sooo depressed and lonely and bored, like, I thought it would be easier to meet people... like, there's a lot going on but i just don't know how to meet people and- you know- I feel really wierd and lost."
Me: "Yea. There are a shitload of Americans in Berlin."( but thinking:jezzzus, you are a STUDENT- you have NO WORRIES except your underdeveloped social life, uhm- where is my machetè? I will help hack up the undergrowth which has entangled you during these last weeks of inactivity you poor girl... need distraction, need... uhm, where did the daffy yet adorable Iranian girl dissappear to which I was talking with for the first hour I was here?... shit, Micah got her. Whatever, good for him.)
American College girl: "Like, I just met those other New York girls tonight because we are all in the same German class... like I showed up and there was, like, no communication with Humboldt and now my classes don't start until April and I just have to hang out and learn German. Sprekken zee Doitsh?"
Me: "Mh. m-hmh."
Not in the mood, noooo... I am a jerk. Sometimes. I did feign interest and give some advice... but... just wanted to be a piece of furniture, really.
Labels: berlin kreuzberg Mano skalitzer staße 46a 46a skalitzerstaße
posted by "Post-Google" by TAR ART RAT at 8:13 am
3 Comments:
great post. i've never overheard a single thing i wanted to overhear. i just had a conversation about this today while we were walking along the avenue as they let the animals out of the three schools in my neighborhood. when i talk on the street i whisper, practically. these kids are like the dark seekers from "i am legend." i think people are too afraid to tell their children to shut up. my sisters allow their children to interrupt adult conversation with all manner of loud mongoloid inanities. then it just goes on from there and there's no unringing that bell: they just get louder and louder and end up in germany. it's just AWGFGUL (typo, but embodies the bile-gurgle when i say awful, so i'll leave it that way).
my favorite salinger line is holden's "at least horses are people, you know?" something like that.
thanks man, I guess I get a bit pissy from time to time in public- but when you are in a fairly large space adn certain people can be heard above the white noice no matter where you sit or stand- well, that is a valid complaint, right?
Mommas, don' lt yer babies grow up to be mongoloids.
On the othe hand there is something to be said for Americans who make an effort to go abroad... I respect that, but while you are abroud maybe (just mayyybe) you could help not validate stereotypes and help make life esier for the rest of us who actually plan on being here long-term... where is the handbook for this?
white "noise", not "noice", obviously...
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