Thursday, March 20, 2008

Post Titled: The shamelessness in milking a SPAM as cute as a your tiny wiener!
NOTE: This post was originally written for the newly rennovated ELECTROPEASANT site. Do checkitout.

Because of the magic of gmail I rarely get spam in my inbox (disclaimer: not paid to say that) but work, mhh, - well, work email still gets spam, I rarely ever read it- but this morning I actually got one which i thought was really adorable, (disclaimer: no, I haven't been sleeping much and, yes, -drinking too much coffee) like, the simple English errors, then I could imagine a whole scene built around it- (*pssst*: actual message is in BOLD below) -maybe... maybe the scene is a couple vacationing on an island, staying in a tiny hut somewhere and then-
Narrarator: "Have you ever heard this,"
cuts to woman's over-made up (make-up'd) eye, caked-on silver eyeshadow. Shot is held for an extremely long time so that we are allowed to study even the tiny tiny blood vessels in the whites of her eyes. She lets out a high-pitched scream
""Damn it! Your penis is really tiny!"?"
Shot of beach, hut, crickets can be heard all around and a near-full moon hangs above as the tiny tiny waves gently lap the shore, then pull back, receding adn repeasing. Chirp chirp...
Narrator: "Didn't you feel stupid?"
Man bursts out from the hut, doubles over clutching his stomach and wailing, attempts to bury his face in the sand like an ostrich, woman stands in the doorway, backlit- with hands on her hips, tapping her foot and biting the insid of her cheek. Wondering to herself: Has she said something wrong?...
Close-up of the man's strained, tear-streaked face, wincing with emotional turmoil- he sobs, hardly catching his breath inbetween spasms of shame. Woman turns and heads back into the hut, lights go out an the man rolls onto his side in fetal position under the moonlight hoping the tide might carry him away in his sleep. Final dying-animal-type wail is released from his chest followed by heavy sobs.
Narrarator: "Don't let ladies prefer dildo to you ! M ldp eg uyf ad dn ik will improve your situation once and forever!"
A flash of light, the scene re-starts at the close-up of woman's wide-eyed expression.
Narrator: You should simply rely on this magic preparation!
Woman says with an expression of wonder: "Oh! Your p rr e mlz ni tlw s is so la sdn rge!"
Narrator: "Isn't that what you dream to hear every day?"
Soon you'll be the only one ladies will want!Me px ga drx di mf k is your real cure!

Close up of man's eyes looking pleasantly surprised, as if he is watching a puppy frolic in a field of pansies.
Shot of the moonlit beach hut, lights go out and "Megadik!" logo fades into lower right-hand corner, FADE OUT.


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