Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Post Titled: Arrest in Poland explained
Post Subtitled: just bad luck... wrong place, wrong time, wrong police, wrong judicial system.

Lots of friends and blog readers have asked for details regarding the "Ill-fated Trip to Słubice"

(CHECK BACK TOMORROW TOO PERHAPS, I'LL TRY TO FLESH THIS POST OUT A BIT MORE)

Overall, I was basically quite unjustly treated by bored police who were giddy at coming across an American... "oh, Californski! hahahahahah" yea.
also, spending time with the Polish Police is like being trapped in a nonsensical sort of Monty Python Nightmare, everyone is really goofy... but at the same time they can hold you for up to three months until trial, which isn't funny. They can also hold you for 48 hours without charging you for any crime- which is detailed in a paper I was forced to sign in German (I speak German but not German legalese), but most everything else was in Polish- until day 2 when they got me a German-polish translator and then wouldn't properly transcribe my statement and also forced me to sign a dozen documents while I was in handcuffs. Awesome. Mind you they speak a few workd of German, I speak less than 30 words of Polish, and then one guy speaks a tiny bit of English- that's it.

here is a chat where I complain about it:
Michelle: what were you in jail for???
me: long story, but my stubborn friend abruptly left the bar we were at while i wa in the middle of a conversation wit these two older people abot the history of the realtionship between the town of Polish Slubice and the German city of Frankfurt (Oder) which are separated by the Oder river. anyhow, my friend got bored because he couldn't follow or participate in the German conversation very well so he left-
and I was shouting at him to wait for me because my bike was still locked up to a post, but he apparently didn't hear me and kept going. When I finally got my bike unlocked I realized that I had forgotten my wallet on the table at the bar, so i ran back, got it and I thought i saw my friend taking a wrong turn (on the way back toward the bridge back to Germany) so i hopped on my bike, rode very quickly on the sidewalk for about one block , stopped and looked for him trying to figure out which way he'd gone- and that is when the police van pulled up beside me and that was that.
Michelle: i don't get it what did they arrest you for??
they arrested me for biking under the influence apparently- which I was- for one whole block. on the sidewalk.
Michelle: hahaha, sorry, that is funny
fucking hilarious
me: although when they came to me I was not even riding, I was just standing there
Michelle: is that illegal in germany?
me: Poland
Michelle: it's illegal in poland ?
me: well, you can get a ticket here in Germany -my friend got one for €80 but was not arrested
Michelle: HA
that makes me giggle
me: I have no idea how illegal it is in Poland,
Michelle: it's probably illegal here too
me: everything was in Polish- not sure, but I was on the SIDEWALK. STOPPED. and they wrote-up in MY statement that they stopped ME-
on the second day they did finally get me a German-Polish translator when I had to give my statement
Michelle: i can't believe they put you in JAIL for that????????
wtffffff
me: dude, they were bored. the border has been opened since December, no more harassing people at the passport control...
but it was weird, they seemed to actually feel bad about it because I was super calm and co-operative... I think they expected me to put up a fight, like on COPS
they even askled me about that: "you are calm, not like American Police show-.mh,."
Michelle: haha
me: ugh. but then the entire staff changed by morning and they didn't know me and how effing cooperative i was, then it was back to zero.
Michelle: sorry
that happened
to you
me: mh
it was crazy
i had no air
no water, it sucked
the only time I ever got any new air inthe cell was when I went to the bathroom- but sometimes it would take forever for them to get around to answer the door- the first time it took them at least a half-hour, if not more.

before I got locked up it was back in the van with this crazy shirtless tatooed skinhead who was handcuffed behind his back- I wasn't at all, we were taken to the hospital/doctors for a basic checkup- probably to determine if we would survive Polish prison conditions- I#m guessing, dunno- there was never any explanation...

MORE LATER.

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2 Comments:

Blogger EEJ said...

That's insane... I imagine Marc was laughing and chanting "Third World Country".

So do you now have an EU police record? Scheisse mann

10:39 pm  
Anonymous Le Ray said...

That's insane. Was Marc chanting "Third World Country" when you got back to work?

Hopefully there's no EU police record for that...

10:40 pm  

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