Thursday, June 22, 2006

Posted 3:45ish am Thursday morning (and WHY am I still up ?!?)
Note: no note.
Today, oh- very busy work day then spent much time on a mix cd (can we just call it a "mixtape") for c., which I was happy to deliver even though she's super busy and will hopefully call me in a mere 3 1/2 hours for some running, (ouch)
But yes, busy- trying to juggle Capt. Underpants, then Bookclub (I finished Master and Margarita!) then Michael Vermillion's cd release then Clayton's DJ-ing at the Bus Stop, and somehow I managed to stop by Havanna for thier opening party, which was very Belltownish... but ok.
More important than all the so-called socialization of tonight is the phone calls which I dealt with this morning, namely the first from the Cancer Society of Blah-blah of America
"Hi is Mr. Todd there?"
"no, he hasn't lived here for several months-"
"Oh, is Mrs. Todd there"
"They moved"
"Oh, well you can probably answer this question as well as they can, I'm from the Cancer Society of Blah-blah of America-"
"Ok, wait, before you go further which percentage of your donations ACTUALLY go to the cause-?"
"Oh, well, I don't have that access to that information-"
"Well, from what I've heard these types of organizations give a mere 10% of the proceeds to the donations to the cause, the other 90% cover overhead, so if that's the case I'm not going to pay you to call me to ask for money, y'know?"
"Oh, well we're a registered non-profit (blah-blah)"
"What's the name of your organization?"
"the Cancer Society of Blah-blah of America"
"Whats your phone #?"
"Oh, we dont' actually have a phone number here-"
(thinking: skeeetchy! You're CALLING me but you don't have a phone #?!?)
""well, what's your website?"
(he gives it to me)
"I'll have to look into it, if I'm intersted I'll contact you."
UGH! Vampires!

Call 2: after being on hold where they played obscure 50's sci-fi movie dialog soundtracks- kinda like Forbidden Planet?
"Hello,this is Gametap, how can I help you?"
"I need to cancel my acct."
"May I as why you want to cancel?"
"I don't have any free time, and if I did I wouldn't/shouldn't be playing video games."
(I was actually drunk when I set up the account- who can resist?)
so that was simple.

Third call, however was a real charmer:

"Hello, Netzero cusomer service, how can I be of assistance to you today?"
"I need to cancel my account."
"Well sir I can certaily help you with that, but may a ask why you want ot cancel with Netflix?"
"My ex-girlfriend was supposed to cancel the account in January, but I just noticed that she didn't. I've been paying for her internet for the past 6 months. I want it cut off pronto."
"Oh, well, sir, we can tranfser that to you and change the password"
"No, I have internet in the new apt. I dont' need it, thanks"
"Oh, well we can give you free access for the next 2 months-
"No, I dont' need it, thanks. I have wi-fi or whatever here at home now."
"Well, I can give it to you free of charge until September"
"No, thanks, I just need it cancelled"
"Ok, sir I'm right there with you- you don't want to be payin' for your ex-girlfriend's nothin'!"- (goes off and loses me on some vaguely religious/family values tangent)-"I mean if she's your girlfiriend then of course, but you ex-girlfriend, no way- I'm right there with you, Sir."
"Oh, yea, thanks..."
(then after a long pause and checking his records, etc.)
"yes sir, I'm just looking up your records, if I can get her phone number we can pinpoint the location from which she's been dialing up from an confrm your suspicions"
(thinking: "suspicions?")
"Uh, I don't know that off-hand"
"Oh I've got it right here sir- _______"
"That's where she's been dialing from..."(sound of vigorous typing)
"Right, that's her new phone # , I just need to cancel my account, though-"
"yep, just gotta do a few things here" (another long pause) "well, sir- (blah-blah) if you have a pen handy I'll just give you your cancellation confirmation there in Seattle?"
"oh, you going to the Rainbow Gathering?"
"Uh, the- I've heard of it..." (Thinking: that's kinda how we lost Troy to the world for a year or two, isn't it? Like, some crazy woodsy hippie gathering where people - I dunno, I don't know much about it, actually.)
"Yea, I thought all you west coast folks might be there, I'm out here in West Virginia but I've gone every year for the past 7 years."
"You drive to -"
"Colorado, just outside Steamboat Springs."
"From West Virginia?-"
"Oh, but it is worth it! I mean you just can't believe how- well, i can't really describe it good 'nuff, but the website is -(something something) and it goes on from the 3 of July to the 7th, usually des down a bit around the 5th though- I get there early though to get a good camping spot, oh it's great, you should go-"
"Uh, yea-"
"Yea, if you're from Seattle you'd just love it. Maybe I'll see you there?"
"Uh, yea, maybe- I actually have to go to work here really soon-"
"Alright, sir I don't want to keep you but you've got your confirmation number and you're all set, that ex-girlfriend of yers will get cut off on the 25th, sorry I couldn't do any sooner-"
"Oh, no problem just as long as it is cancelled. Thanks."
"Thank you sir, and hope to see you out there in Colorado-"
"Yes, you too. Bye."
I hung up then relized that he never did end up giving me a cancellation confirmation number afterall....
Wonder if that call was recorded for quality assurance?...

Speaking of strangeness... I learned this morning that there is a star called Betelgeuse, it is really really really reallly so so soooo soooooo REALLY big, and 427 light years away...
Google Book Search


Blogger niamhblue said...

hah hah. troy was lost at the rainbow gathering. i'm so glad he's been found again. that was some crazy shit.

and bye the bye, paulie, you write some pretty entertaining blogs. keep it up, my darling. ;-)

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