Thursday, August 10, 2006

T.A.R. theory of the day: 1989 BATMAN FILM MAY HAVE INSPIRED TERRORISTS' MOST RECENT (SUSPECTED/SUPPOSED)PLOT AND/OR AIRPORT SECURITY'S REACTION TO AFOREMENTIONED SUSPECTED/SUPPOSED PLOT:
(ok, not really, but I'm trying to have some fun here and what else do I have to blog about since I have to get on a flight today and am effing doomed to lots of long lines... and there is a striking similarity between security at the airpost and the panic the (Jack Nicholson) Joker caused in Gotham...) SEE:


From the Seattle Times this morning:


"TSA employees at Sea-Tac are sifting through luggage in search of liquids, lotions and gels — which were banned beginning at 4 a.m. today from all carry-on luggage, Betancourt said.

The list of banned substances also includes all drinks, toothpaste, perfume, shampoo, hair gel, suntan lotion, cosmetics and similar items. Even drinks purchased in the airport cannot be carried onto flights.

Baby formula and medications will be allowed but must be inspected at security checkpoints.

"There's a lot of makeup going into the garbage today," airport spokesman Parker said."

VS:

EXCERPT from Tim Burton's 1989 BATMAN Screenplay by Sam Hamm Based on the Character Created by Bob Kane:

"INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES as a grinning, deranged pitchman -- THE JOKER -- pushes his shopping cart down the aisle. The shelves are filled with products bearing his TRADEMARK HARLEQUIN'S FACE. He waves merrily in time to the music.

INT. STUDIO - VIDEO CONTROL BOOTH - THAT MOMENT

PANICKED TECHNICIANS swarm the booth. The studio feed has been JAMMED. Every monitor shows THE JOKER'S PROMO.

DIRECTOR
WHERE'S IT COMING FROM??

TECHNICIAN
I DON'T KNOW!
CLOSEUP - THE JOKER

JOKER
... new improved Joker brand. With
the secret ingredient... SMYLENOL!
(a sweep of the hand)
Let's go to our blind taste test.

TIGHT ON an anonymous MAN -- GAGGED AND BLINDFOLDED, tied to his chair, squirming, struggling. On the table before him is a package labeled "BRAND X." A SUPERIMPOSED TITLE reads: "NOT AN ACTOR."

JOKER (cont.)
Ooh. He's tense. Irritable. Out of
sorts.
(wagging a finger)
He's been using Brand X! But with new
improved Joker brand...

ANGLE WIDENS to include a BLINDFOLDED CORPSE, limp in his chair, GRINNING HORRIFICALLY.

JOKER (cont.)
... it's a SMILE EVERY TIME!!

SERIES OF SHOTS

Television sets all over Gotham, as startled citizens react to the JOKER'S maniacal promo.

JOKER (V.O.)
I know what you're saying. Where can
I buy these fine, fine new products?
-- Well, that's the gag, folks, you
never know. Chances are... you've
bought 'em already!!!

As his RANT CONTINUES, we SEE:

- A YOUNG MAN watching the bedroom TV as he dresses for a date. He's got an aerosol deodorant can poised under one arm, ready to spray. He looks down at the can, suddenly uncertain. Could it be... ?

- A FAMILY in their kitchen, eyeing a 12-inch portable as MOM serves dinner. They dig in automatically, then FREEZE with their forks in midair.

- A MIDDLE-AGED MATRON at the living room TV. Shocked, she calls to her husband -- and gets no reply. We FOLLOW HER to the bathroom door.

On the floor she sees an OVERTURNED SHAMPOO BOTTLE. Then: her HUSBAND, slumped down in the tub, a lethal grin on his face. She lets out a SHRIEK.
PANIC GRIPS GOTHAM
Contaminated Products Claim 13 Lives
WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS "JOKER"?

- An ANCHORWOMAN on the evening news. Her complexion is curiously sallow. BLACK BAGS show under her eyes.

ANCHORWOMAN (V.O.)
... six new deaths, with no clues as
to the Joker's identity or demands. The
list of potentially lethal products now
includes: perfume -- mascara -- cold
cream --

- The makeover counter at Bloomingdale's. SECURITY GUARDS rush to the scene as THREE MATRONLY CUSTOMERS go into simultaneous smiling fits.

- An ANCHORMAN with a BIG UGLY ZIT on his nose:

ANCHORMAN (V.O.)
- a seeming pattern of beauty and
hygiene products. Cologne -- mouthwash --
underarm deodorant --

- A SUBWAY CAR jammed with STRAPHANGERS. HUGE PATCHES OF SWEAT under every arm. The doors slide open; ONCOMING PASSENGERS RECOIL VISIBLY at the unendurable stench.

- The original ANCHORWOMAN, whose look is now 100 percent natural. Her hair is frizzy. Her eyebrows are gone. Every wrinkle on her face is plainly visible.

ANCHORWOMAN (V.O.)
Hair spray and eyebrow pencil. We
repeat: do not use the following
products --

- A LARGE DRUGSTORE. CASHIERS sit idly by the registers. The store is utterly devoid of customers"

Excerpt borrowed from http://members.tripod.com/~ajeewa/movies/batman1986.txt
Google Book Search

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home