Post Titled: presse.
my days of rebellion and protest are pretty much over. Taking to the streets for WTO Seattle, Iraq War and both Bush elections all proved to be discouraging, yet I was never arrested. Tomorrow, however, is May 1, since 1987 a traditional day in Berlin where people (punks, immigrants, locals, whoever) take to the streets in certain parts of Kreuzberg and pull out the cobblestones in the sidewalks to throw them at the police and then get beat-up and arrested to protest something- like, maybe it is just a multiprotest.
I am going to attempt to photograph and video this tomorrow without getting hit by flying rocks or bottles or teargas or get peppersprayed or get arrested (for just being there- BUT definitely (most importantly) without getting my camera destroyed. Hopefully if I have a big camera and wear my YouTube shirt like a dork then perhaps I will be more immune, mal sehen.
here are some "edgy videos" about it:

Post Titled: fresh meat.
damn- I still I think slate is right when they say "Forget Miley Cyrus. Check out Disney's Chinese underwear ad." (foto above) but but but
uhm, what to say... I hate these types of posts... just skip this. scan down to the image... so, here I am, my grasp- no, my ability to see the sense and reason(s)ing american value system drifting away into absurd obscurity like that escaped red helium balloon in that old belgium or french movie where the kid is chasing an escaped red helium balloon throughout some charming city in belgium or france... indeed, the more time I spend in this heathen land of europe, the less I notice boobs. I am actually tired of having this conversation with myself, this monologue, like: "wooo, so many boobs and naked bodies in the liberal and mind/bodily free continent of europe. gr. fine. there are boobs in the ads. you all have boobs in your ads and you are so free and we are not we are puritan party weirdos and you have boobs and asscracks on dvd covers at the video store and on the fronts of magazines and we do not because we are uptight and can't handle boobs, I don't know why, ok,ok, fine." CHANGE GEARS
ok, the shockoutrage in the media today over this foto is just... unnecessary. in the 2-3 minutes which I have been able to tolerate actually watching Hannah Montana videos, (super obnoxiously annoying videos, actually) it seems like Disney already sells her as a nubile sex symbol but to her own peer group... so take off her shirt and plop her in-front of Annie Leibovitz and market her towards a broader audience and suddenly people go ape-shit? Parents go ape-shit. Bill O'Reily goes all ape-shit... So, if this girl is marketed as a sort of tomboyish cool goofy nubile sex-symbol by Disney - that is ok, but to arts-ily portray her as an actual vulnerable more serious/ly) nubile sex symbol to everyone is outrageous? mmh... ja... go figure... the enigma of the american value system... The image itself is actually kind of Tim Burton-esque...

Post Titled: Prince covers Radiohead's "Creep" at Coachella:

coachella is a 3-day music festival in the desert outside Palm Springs, I went with Manü in 2006, it is great. thanks for the link, Dan.

Post Titled: trailer 1'27'' of 8'45''
a couple months ago I received a request from a YouTuber in Brussels named Sammy Ben Yakoub who wanted to use pieces of some of my old clips in a new video he was editing, - so I said yes and then totally forgot about it until today when he sent the result:

(I'm doing the underwear hand-stands, goofing off in the rolling chair, and jumping over the canal) ahh, why don't so do stupid physical Youtube Videos any longer?... getting old? TAR ART RAT tarartrat

the cowboy killers sully morland on the washboard by tar art rat, originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.

the cowboy killers' sully morland tearing up the washboard at a paella get-together with the spaniards in Prenzlauer Berg

the cowboy killers' mike ellison rehearsing with a spanish singer (name?), originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.

Non-fiction weekend foto Sunday evening Mauerpark, April 27, 2008

mauerpark firedancers tar art rat, originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.

fire dancers next to a drum circle. the great thig was tha there was a little old lady- who was completely blown aways by the fire and drums, I don't think she'd seen anything life that before... for me it was a definitel Seattle Folklife/Hempfest/Volunteer Park flashback

Non-fiction weekend foto Sunday, April 27, 2008

german-mexican couple sunbathing 2, originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.

german-mexican couple sunbathing on the canal bank by admirals-brücke

Post Titled: Non-Fiction conv. blurble, the park across from my house, late Fri. Night
AP: In High school in Dansk we were obsessed with Damon Albarn and Blur
Me: Blur is great.
AP: Yes, some kids went to an extreme- they, well, not sure if it tranlsates- but they compiled a Blur bible...
Me: A... Blurble.
AP: Yes, a BLURBLE! It is different word-play in Polish...

Post Titled: WOOLOO NEW LIFE BERLIN festival
will be covering this for whitehot, -curious.

Post Titled:
the
COWBOY
killers
Charlie Booth, Salsberger Morland and Mike Ellison peddling snake oil (and playing music) at the Karmanoia, March 2008, Berlin.

Post Titled:
a little post I put up at Electropeasant called: falling in love with Dinah Shore all over again for 2 days then forgetting her for another 3 years then falling in love with Dinah Shore all over again for 2 days then...

Post Titled: big time OHRWURM
BAND OF HORSES - THE FUNERAL

also- ja, this one- THE STONE ROSES - I WANT TO BE ADORED. also an orhwurm... (damn embedding disablers...)

Post Titled: Post Titled: People we have encountered with annoying fake accents are annoying
Post Subtitled: Non-fiction. Grrr.,

Dan: Comedy Sketch Version - Location USA
DLR: Hi, I'm Dan, nice to meet you
T: I'm Tohrm.
D: Torum?
T: No, Torm
D: Oh, Tom.
...
D: So where are you from?
T: I spent the lahhst yearh in Berhlin worhking on reesearch. And befah that I was at Cambridge.
D: Cool... but you're from the States originally?
T: Well yeerss, but when one has spehnt so much time abrorrd, it's difficult not to hahve more than three vawels.
[...much later...]
D: Where are you originally from - where you grew up?
T: [quietly] Michigan. Just near Deetroit..


ME. Intolerable Version- location, a bar in the middle of Nowhere, Germany
"Chuck, you were in London for less than 2 weeks! Drop the accent!"
"Ai dahnnao, ai jus' seem to 'ave picked it up whoile I was theyah."
"Chuck, shut UP- that is impossible, you are acting like an idiot."
"Noih really, ai kohn't git rid of et!"
"Chuck... I'm not talking to you."

Post Titled: Multiple choice #2 which has already been chosen but got set on random shuffle so the robots decided, not I: a.k.a.:music to play so strangers think you are normal and cool
internal monologue: ok, set iTunes to Charlie Mingus, that is normal, cool, classic, normal, jazzy- ok- that is playing, guest shows up- ok ok, oh SHIT the iTunes is on random- and now comes M.I.A. so abrasive, shit - talk talk, joke, seem normal- minutes later- ok, hmm, Band of Horses, they are good, calm, epic, mid-to-alte 20s angst-y enough- ok, a bit dramatic, but that is fine, all is well- bye stranger, ahh doorbuzzer, another stranger arrives- no time to change the music- oh, crap! matmos!, not matmos! that is the worst possible thing for this situation:
FLASHBACK to when Mr. Mumm put Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica on repeat and LOUD as we left for the day and apartment brokers in Hell's Kitchen brought interested young couples through one after another-
ok, all is normal, all is normal, next stranger is an opera singer, I will put on Digable Planets' Blowout Comb... that is chill,cool ,jazzy, neutral unless you HATE hip-hop... ow. Grrr.

Post Titled: weird
wierd, somehow this VIDEO I made last year ended up on this site...

Post Titled: lots of über-logical childishly simplistic reasons Why McCain Can't be President
because: haven't you seen the scientific studies which say old people are about to die? and if you are about to die you won't be right in the head- like, if I were going to die tomorrow I might spend the rest of the day doing silly impulsive things. That is why McCain can't be president. I love my grandparents, but they are old and do not necessarily understand the world (especially the world I live in) any longer, therefore they are really not fit to rule- and McCain is almost as old as my grandparents; therefore McCain cannot be president. McCain cannot be president because he would be impeached shortly thereafter because if he were to become president then the Terminators would get loose, the constitution would be altered overnight to allow Arnold Schwarzenegger to become President (even though he was not born on American soil) to fight the Terminators until the end of the world in 2012... (despite the Terminators being from 2029...) McCain Cannot be President...because...(see above photo triptych)

Post Titled:
BIKINIRAMA artikel- neue bilder!
a few new fotos have been added to the BIKINIRAMA article on Whitehot Magazine of Contemporary Art, like this one (a classic) of these happy Frankfurt art aficionados at the live performance:

PHOTO CREDIT: Felicitas von Lutzau

Post Titled: Snoop Dogg singt schlager musik
No, really:

thanks dan!

Post Titled: NPR
Post Subtitled: My undying love for Shakira is rekindled... for a morning, at least.
Months ago I stopped using the radio as an alarm because I had it set to German news- all of which ruined my day, but recently I reremembered that there is 104.1 the Berlin NPR station- and what did I wake up to this morning, this early lovely accented laughing voice talking quite cleverly about education in the developing world- "who IS this? who is Robert Siegel talking to..." blink-blink, trying to get my bearings- and it turns out to be Shakira on All Things Considered. Upstairs, Ms. Saul has a miniposter of Shakira in her kitchen, which I love.
Basically, before my first cup of coffee on a Tuesday I am willing to say that Shakira... is great.

Furthermore: I come into work asking Dan if that quote he skyped me was from the news report about how Juarez had to have its police force more or less replaced by the military-
"No- it was from Battlestar Galactica."
I recently let him borrow Season One on DVD- now anyone and everyone might be a cylon... anyhow,
QUOTE: "There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people."

Post Titled: DINU
fascinating post about Obama's Deeply Immersive Narrative Universe thanks Dan-
on another note, from the Nation and rereported by the WSJ:
"You're now tuned into the muh'fuckin greatest. Turn the music up in the headphones Tim, you can go and brush your shoulder off nigga I got you, yeah
[Chorus: Jay-Z]
If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off. Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off. Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you. Get, that, dirt off your shoulder:

[Verse One]
I probably owe it to y'all, proud to be locked by the force. Tryin to hustle some things, that go with the Porsche. Feelin no remorse, feelin like my hand was forced
Middle finger to the law, nigga grip'n my balls
All the ladies they love me, from the bleachers they screamin
All the ballers is bouncin' they like the way I be leanin'
All the rappers be hatin', off the track that I'm makin'
But all the hustlers they love it just to see one of us make it. Came from the bottom the bottom, to the top of the pots. Nigga London, Japan and I'm straight off the block. Like a running back, get it man, I'm straight off the block. I can run it back nigga cause I'm straight with the Roc"

(or for the slightly more content-oriented video version, which includes other Jay-Z BLACK ALBUM hits):



[Chorus]

[Chorus Two]
You gotta get, that, dirt off your shoulder
You gotta get, that, dirt off your shoulder
You gotta get, that, dirt off your shoulder
You gotta get, that, dirt off your shoulder

[Verse Two]
Your homey Hov' in position, in the kitchen with soda. I just whipped up a watch, tryin to get me a Rover. Tryin to stretch out the coca, like a wrestler, yessir
Keep the Heckler close, you know them smokers'll test ya. But like, fifty-two cards when I'm, I'm through dealin. Now fifty-two bars come out, now you feel 'em. Now, fifty-two cars roll out, remove ceiling. In case fifty-two broads come out, now you chillin. with a boss bitch of course S.C. on the sleeve. At the 40/40 club, ESPN on the screen. I paid a grip for the jeans, plus the slippers is clean. No chrome on the wheels, I'm a grown-up for real

[Chorus + Chorus Two]

[Verse Three]
Your boy back in the building, Brooklyn we back on the map. Me and my beautiful beeeeeeeitch in the back of that 'Bach. I'm the realest that run it, I just happen to rap. I ain't gotta clap at 'em, niggaz scared of that black
I drop that +Black, Album+ then I back, out it. As the best rapper alive nigga ask about me. From Bricks to Billboards, from grams to Grammys
The O's to opposite, Orphan Annie. You gotta pardon Jay, for sellin out the Garden in a day, I'm like a young Marvin in his hey'
I'm a hustler homey, you a customer crony
Got some, dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?

[Chorus + Chorus Two]

You're now tuned into the muh'fuckin greatest

Best rapper alive, best rapper alive"

Post Titled: GUCHA
clearly I live in the wrong country...

actually, I was searching for the gypsy music festival in August which the boys had mentioned.

Post Titled: Multiple Choice Question:

Girl E suggests the film "Love Actually" and explains why, quite thoroughly. To the point where you buy it. Not literally. But you do download with intent to watch. You are also both able to agree that 10 Things I Hate About You is a truly great film in its own right.

the Wildfang gives you "Planet Terror" to borrow, warning of its terrible-ness and pointlesness, nevertheless she loves horror. Primarily only watches horror. Horror.

Girl A burns you a DVD of 5 Tarkovsky films the day after you meet her. She looks like a young Meryl Streep.

WORD.

Post Titled: COLBERT
lest we forget his origins...

Post Titled:
The WAR Room
1992 Documentary about the Clinton Campaign, pretty fascinating

go to YouTube for the other 9 parts

Post Titled: the noughties in cinema

The Guardian recently had THIS ARTICLE: "
The noughties, cinema's decade of urgency
Here's my list of the 10 defining films of the decade so far - what are yours?" by Phil Hoad
well, off the top of my head:

1.The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou / The Royal Tennenbaums
2.Wonder Boys
3.Batman Begins
4.The Triplets of Belleville
5.8 Women
6.Noí (Noí albínói)
7.Spider-Man 1 and 2
8.King Kong
9.Punch-Drunk Love
10.Swimming Pool

guess that's kind of 12 actually...
(24 hours later...)
I forgot BROKEN FLOWERS!!!, how did I forget broken flowers... ok, that makes me nervous- what else have I forgotten...?

Post Titled: text and video
Post Subtitled: having another wu-tang moring... cnaÄt do muc about that, it just sweeps over me. then: BLAWH!

I am interrupting this regularly-scheduled post because Dan just found this in the Guardian:
"Referring to the fact that the Spanish prime minister, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, has just appointed Spain's first female-majority cabinet, Berlusconi said on Wednesday that "Zapatero has formed a government that is too pink, something that we cannot do in Italy because there is a prevalence of men in politics and it isn't easy to find women who are qualified ... He will have problems leading them. Now he's asked for it."

Ok, -that m%§her§"$ker is just backwards.

I do so very much enjoy reading Wu-Tang lyrics... (which, alone, without the audio as a guide to how the words are said- the WAY they are said- the text just seems nonsensical... not that it makes all theat much sense anyhow, but after reading the text, then watch the video... NOTE: below are the censored lyrics- I actually prefer them more because it ends up being more clever, but the audio in the video below is NOT censored therefore the lyrics do not match exactly with the text... and then read the lyrics... hi, it is 9:36 am on Friday, April 18, 2008.

WU-TANG CLAN

"Shame On a Nuh"

INTRO: Yo this the O.D.B.
new radio version for ya called Shame On A Nuh
so everybody,..a jump on it

Shame on a Nuh! who try to run game on a nuh
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nuh who try to run game on a nuh
Wu buck- uhh uhh uhh
HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT!
Ol' Dirty Bast...................cut!
Styles unbreakable, shatterproof,
To the young youth, ya wanna get gun? Shoot?
BLAOW! How you like me now? Don't front the style
Ruthless wild!
Do ya wanna getcha teeth knocked on out?
Brother, get on it like that, then shout!

[Method]
Yo RZA, yo razor!
Hit me with the Major
The Damage. My clan, understand, it be flavor
Gunnin'! Hummin' comin' atcha
First I'm gonna getcha, once I gotcha, I gatcha!
You could never capture the Method Man's stature
For rhyme & for rapture, got niggaz resigning, now master
My style?
Never! I put the ... buck in the wild kid, I'm terror
Razor sharp, I sever the head from the shoulders,
I'm better than my compeda!
You mean competitor, whadeva! Let's get together

Shame on a nuh who try to run game on a nuh
Wu come wild with the tri-BLAOW!

[Raekwon]
I react so thick, I'm phat, and YO!
Rae came blowing & blew off ya headphones
Black, rap from YO Cali to Texas
Smoother than a Lexus, now's my turn to WRECK this!
Brothers approach & half step, but ain't heard
HALF of it yet, and I bet you're not a WHAT! vet!
So, when you see me on the real, formin' like Voltron,
Remember I got deep like a Navy Seal!

Shame on a nuh who try to run game on a nuh
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nuh who try to run game on a nuh
I'll said get out!

[Verse Two: Ol Dirty Bastard]

Yo...!
I come with that ol' loco
Style from my vocal
Couldn't peep it with a pair of bifocals
I'm no joker! Play me as a joke,
I be on you like a house on fire! Smoke ya!
Crews be actin' like they gangs, anyway,
Be like, "Warriors! Come out & playiyay!"
Hurry, I gettin it on, I let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea
Dirty, I keeps the nuff stains my drawers
So I can gete Fizzy-funky for YUH!?
Murder, takes the fame of the Wu-Tang RAHH!
Here comes the Tiger verse Crane!
Ow, be like wild with my style
Punk! You playing me, chump, you get DUMPED!
WU! Is comin' THROUGH! At a theatre near YOU!
And get funk like a SHOE!
What?!

Post Titled: Comment is now post...
I posted such a long comment on Mithridates recent post "god bless you you are a good man" post that I thought I might just go ahead and re-post it here... the story is actually much longer and stranger, but I cannot remember many of the details- namely the things she would say, alas:
At an art opening several years ago I met a woman who was very lively and entertaining, from a distance she looked like a teenager, but up close one could see a few grey hairs and very tired eyes, even though her body was still petite and quite juvenile. Everyone had been drinking wine and all was well, very enjoyable chit-chat-chit-chat. Later a few of us went to her studio. There were dozens of tiny images all over the walls, most of them of a young man and woman riding bikes. "That is Jessica Simpson and her Boyfriend Nick there, they were in my photography class, I took fotos of them all the time, nice- I mean, they were ok, kind of nice people." "Oh, reallly-?" we all played along with what we thought was a joke. A few days later I bumped into her on the street- actually she was squatting down in th middle of a crosswalk, she saw me and just said "Hey James, I found your ID!" she handed me someone's old bank ATM card which looked like it had been runover by a week's worth of traffic- "oh,... thanks..." ok, so my name isn't James, maybe she just forgot, we were a bit drunk.
I went with her to visit her studio again since it was half a block away and one floor above mine. The had been very busy painting all the walls in many many muddled layers of neon so it was a sprt of deep purple mush with bits of flourescent orange and pink and green peeking through- then, using that as a background, she had painted full-body portraits of very disturbing prostitutes doing some extremely provocative things with their very graphic girly parts- also with the help of little hairy cartoon men who looked like grimy little gangsters in soiled wifebeaters. This is a bit disturbing... in the middle of the room there is a cast-iron daybed, piled on top are MOUNDS of clothes an women's accessories, hairdryers, curling irons, etc.-
She points out Jessica Simpson again. "Oh,great-" I manage. She explains that she has been moving a lot. "They wanted my information in Colorado when I tried to get an apartment. They wanted my signature and ID and stuff. So I left."
"Oh. Ok..."
"They want all that stuff here, too . My signature and ID- they want that stuff still! They are collecting it, just like they did in Colorado an Kentucky! They'll collect it all-"
Three weeks later there was a eviction notice on the door, and after that the place was emptied of her things- all of which were dumped in the filthy back alley. Amongst her things was the photo album her parents had made during her mother's pregnancy with her. That was really hard to see just sitting there in the mud, practically in a puddle- so I brought it into my own studio and out it on the floor. A year later I donated it along with a bunch of other things to the Salvation Army.
Never saw her again.

Post Titled: anti-superheroism and other Non-Fiction (as of late) Berlin, April 12-17ish
Mr. White schrieb: Wait, so you don't have Skype at work anymore?
TAR schrieb: I do, but it is a new name and I am not allowed to have any contacts outside of the office.
yes, it hurts a little bit.
Mr. White schrieb: Wow, that's retarded. Do they think you're incapable of communicating with people outside the office through other means?

Got off my lazy bum and finally did something interesting after work- met Helen for a beer at ye olde Yorkschlosschen, not paying attention to the time at all- then with 5 minutes to spare we zipped superfast on bicycles as not to be toooo terribly late to pay a very reasonable €5 at Hebbel am Ufer EINS a.k.a. HAU 1 to see Art Spiegelman talk about the history of comics, really really great- actually, I even started getting antsy, squirming in my seat and struggling to take notes in the dark on the (hopefully) blank back side of my ticket- excellent presentation- and then a sort of odd Q and A where he sat stuck in the middle of the stage between a pretty American woman journalist, Anjana Shrivastava (Welt Online) -a slim Manhattanish-clad with long dark curls and on the other side a blonde puffy redfaced German (Claus Christian Malzahn of Spiegel Online) as they shot these softly meaningless and fluffily menacing (but politically-charged), fairly redundant questions at him from both sides. Talk-Pong. *Donk*... *Donk*
I did actually ask a completely unintelligent question in a moment of panic- suddenly found my hand in the air then standing and adressing - I mean, with these timid Berlin audiences it has happened all too often that the alloted audience Q and A time is never taken-up, bambis in the audience timid timid inner turmoid but no open mouthes -a few questions are asked... but then- "Any more questions?... anyone else?..." dot dot dot, personally if you have someone like Art Spiegelman before you and have the chance to ask a question- well, seems like a great opportunity, also i think it is just respectful of the audience to exhaust the presenter to the point of "Ok, last question-" it shows that they are engaged and actually care-
anyhow, during the presentation (which covered a brief history of the birth and development of comics in print) he dismissed superheroes almost altogether- I was a bit shocked. I mean, here I am - the build-up, waiting until he reaches the X-Men, Fantastic Four, and maybe even some latter-day favorites, touch on the Death of Superman? Touch on the beauty of Spawn or short-lived the Maxx the gazillions of independent comics which are created now?
Nope. No mention of any contemporary Crumb-esque masters and absolutely no no No cred for superheroes: their existence is irrelevant - move on to next subject: Darger. I asked him what else he might say about superheroes if he had more time, would he just continue to bash them?
I believe his response was actually that the drive behind superhero comics was (to) "blow/shoot a wad of machismo/masculinity onto the page/at the reader(?). Galactus, Silver Surfer... I'm still working through it with my therapist." I was surprised later over a falafel when Adam, who had had him as a professor at Columbia- a fact I was not aware of- (in a class of 14 students! fahk, nice.) said that he always re-enforced this anti-superheroism, it pissed off the dykes in the class a LOT.
If I step back and dissect this superhero dismissal ...I suspect he may take this stance for a reason... perhaps for the very same reason that I kind of resent- hmm, maybe Damien Hirst or Matthew Barney? they are successful and popular within their field, they are lucky, wealthy, talented, popular and ... wait, what is a better comparison. Maybe... hmm, a young talented writer like ________ writer who resents J.K. Rowling or Stephen King... Hm. I guess my theory is that Mr. Spiegelman, who is very talented, is a weirdo, a clever oddball- therefore although he may produce great images and brilliant societal and human commentary, he is no Stan Lee, his comics have not been turned into billion dollar blockbusters, -I think -within the world of comics and their creators- that must make one a bit bitter... Nevertheless, despite this little (grr) issue the evening was brilliant, I just wanted to drop everything and draw- which I did- and realized just HOW difficult it is to work with boxes! I have tried for years- the boxes are insanely frustrating... perhaps it is better if do the drawings first then cut them out and glue them or make a comic frame, cut them out and tape them to the back so they are all nicely framed from the front... because building the boxes and then drawing in them is/would make(ing) me nuts-o.

Ok, and on a side note, he mentioned Daumier- and I have a great regret: I was in a antique shop about 4 or 5 years ago and there was a little framed cartoon-caricature sketch by Daumier on sale for I think $120, and I thought- "hmm..." walked out, came back 3 days later aaand -of course- it was already gone. PAIN! it was so lovely. he is so good. Oh, crap, he was also buried in Père Lachaise Cemetery- last time I was there I don't think I had heard of him yet. should go back...

Post TItled: IRONMAN
Ironman trailer news coverage brought to you by the Onion. brilliant, love it. thanks Dan.

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

Pisst Titled:
MYFACESPACEBOOK
generation
Post Subtitled: Oh, yea, that is why this blog is more-or-less anonymous?... almost forgot.
Debate about the effects of people's MySpace and Facebook profiles on their job application process has been raging for days in a Yahoo! group that I belong to, my response was:

"as much as I wouldn't want to be rejected myself due to facebook or myspace page contents- about two years ago we were using craigslist to find a new housemate and I then found myself compulsively googling/mspacing/facebooking potential people after we had met with them. Unfair? Needless to say we did not gice a second interview to the recent college grad sorority girl who was a self-described "booze-whore" in her myspace page. She was slightly shady, obviously not a good fit for the house but the "booze whore" really put the nail in the coffin.
Basically, employers could be a bit more realistic/lenient with regards to expectations about what they will find / weighing the sorts of things they are bound to come across when looking at these people's online selves AND -more importantly- this Myfacespacebook Generation could be a LOT smarter about calling themselves "booze-whores" -(wtf?)
-cheers,"

OTHERS' RESPONSES:

"A noted futurist (I'll see if I can dig up the name and the linked essay) wrote a great piece about a year ago on how the concept of privacy would be seen as silly and old-fashioned in the near future. I don't think the generation of kids growing up now will fully experience that, but perhaps
the next generation will."

"If I read about your recovery from cancer, I'm less apt to hire you because
people who have had cancer are statistically more likely to have it again.

If I read about growing up adopted, I'm perhaps more likely to hire you
since I was adopted too.

My point: Everything counts, one way or another."

"I love how the word "discrimination" gets thrown around like it's automatically a bad thing.
If you're hiring people, your *job* is to discriminate: Against morons. Against people who do not know how to project a professional image. Against people who can't get the typos out of their resumes and cover letters. Social networking sites allow you to add a few more criteria -- now you can discriminate against people who interview well, but lack judgment about how
to more generally present themselves. You can discriminate against people
who party too much and might be too hung over to work. You can discriminate
against liars who then brag to their friends about their lies (amazing how
many people do this). And if you're me, you can discriminate against anyone
with nose, eyebrow or tongue jewelry. (Hi, I'm a hardass.)

The things you can't discriminate against are spelled out clearly in federal
and state law; everything else -including everything I just listed- can
and should be fair game."

"What if you are eliminated from a pool of applicants, not because of who you are on Facebook but who your friends are?
If you're friends with people who are gay or bisexual or black or Christian
or Jewish, and you're not hired because of the person's bias against that
group - then they aren't technically discriminating against you for those
things but you're still being eliminated due to those categories. Where do
you draw the line?"

X wrote:
New twist on this topic... What if someone else posts something -- picture, text, etc. -- about you on their blog, Facebook / MySpace page, etc., and then refuses to take it down. What then? What do you do and how do you address it during the job search process, especially if you KNOW it's something that someone doing a simple web search will find? Do you acknowledge it, thereby drawing attention to it and perhaps giving it extra credence, and try to mitigate its effect by explaining it? Or do you simply ignore it and risk not even getting calls for interviews?
Y wrote:
Dear X, As I understand it, if you can prove that it is untruthful and it has caused injury (like costing you a job), you have a case for libel.
45 states recognize that some categories of statements are considered to be defamatory "per se", such that people making a defamation claim for these statements do not need to prove that the statement was defamatory. In the common law tradition, damages for such statements are presumed and do not have to be proven. Traditionally, these per se defamatory statements include:
* Allegations or imputations "injurious to another in their trade, business, or profession"
* Allegations or imputations "of loathsome disease"
* Allegations or imputations of "unchastity"
* Allegations or imputations of criminal activity
The key being though that the allegations are untrue. If they're true, you don't have much of a leg to stand on.
In terms of whether to engage or not, you have to determine how much of a threat it really is. Some times it's not worth the effort because few people saw or will see it, the source is questionable, etc. On the other hand, if it does have a possibility of getting a larger audience or people may actually believe it, then it may be in your best interest to take action."

"Clean up your digital identity. If you • have a MySpace, Facebook or other social networking profile, take some time to review your pages and make sure they are presenting the image of yourself you’d want a recruiter or your future boss to see—because they ARE LOOKING. You may need to edit profile information, delete certain "friends" or groups, take down some photos. It’s time to leave the kegger behind and focus on the next stage in your career. No one expects you to be perfect, but this is your opportunity to put your best foot forward. Have someone you trust review your profile and give you their opinion. Make sure the email address you use is professional; they should not contain nicknames or slang. When possible use an email address that incorporates your first and last name."

"The fact is, if it's posted on-line in public view, a potential employer
could disqualify you for virtually any piece of information that he/she
doesn't like. And you will never know what happened or why.
My philosophy is this: I don't post anything I wouldn't want an employer to
see, but I also don't hold back on anything important to me in my personal
life. If an employer were to reject me for anything I've consciously posted
on-line, then that's not the employer I want to work for. "

Post Titled: Self Help in the 21st Century
John Moe, author of the blog "Monkey Disaster" posted about THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN MY LIFE SO FAR, seems pretty great, and reminded me of Miranda July's site LEARNING TO LOVE YOU MORE... of course, both of these sites are useless for idiots like me who make the same mistakes over and over- never learning from them.

Post Titled: sinking ship.

When I left that US in 2006 I didn't have that many hesitations, not only was I tired of the craziness and menainglessness which I felt were the backbone of daily life there but I was also fearful of real impending economic and societal collapse. After awhile- after some time away I then thought thati was paranoid and perhaps delusional to think that way... but now, somedays / sometimes I think that perhaps I was right-on. ONly time will tell, really- the United States is clever, resilient, sly, tough: a survivor BUT... but every system has its limits.

The lovely, talented and charming J.Go sent this article called The End of the World as You Know It ... and the Rise of the New Energy World Order By Michael T. Klare this morning about energy crisis from truthout. OUCH.

thankfully there is YouTube to help prevent us from crying on our keyboards- to make us forget about the world's problems for a minute or two:
Star Wars Trumpet Solo.
"They say it's from 1993 Miss Douglas County Arizona, for the Arizona State Beauty Pageant."
and another one from Ms. Mary Rinebold: Les Rita Mitsouko - Marcia Baila

Post TItled: Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You
truly a wonder to behold, this man:

thanks to Sully of the Cowboy killers for the tip-

Post Titled: Obama Faux-pas revisited...

Would it have been MORE of an outrage it he would've said:
"They get bitter, they cling to beer and football and shopping as a way to temporarily forget their frustrations."

Post Titled: FREAKONOMICS Contest: A Six-Word Motto for the U.S.?

My suggestion:
"WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!"


Dan's suggestion:
"WE WILL WE WILL IRAQ YOU!"

(I know that is from Feb. 4, but I always forget to read Freakonomics. Dunno why...)

Post Titled:BIKINIRAMA:
the Fine Art of Provocation
OOp- guess I'll just blow my anonymous cover here, my interview with Alexandra Pamela Steinert, co-founder of the German art-action group BINIKIRAMA, is up at WHITEHOT MAGAZINE OF CONTEMPORARY ART

Post Titled: Obama is "elitist and out of touch."

This is what got him into the pickle:
"They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."
Hilary's response:
"I was taken aback by the demeaning remarks Senator Obama made about people in small-town America, His remarks are elitist and out of touch."
(I still cannot remember if Hilary has one or two l's ...)

at first I thought: "OUCH, Barack- being a bit too honest can bite you in the ass, he should know that- alas..." and then I remembered: Mark Penn and Burson-Marstellar! Why hasn't this blown Mrs. Clinton out of the water? it is ÜBER-slimey and shady!!! Kindo of like most US PR in general... I had been lightly researching Burson-Marsteller about a year ago for work, a lot of the links and whatnot I have long forgotten or would have to dig-up, but in the meantime PR Source Watch does a good job (click that)
Up til now Post-Google has been fairly pro-Obama and not toooo critial of Mrs. Clinton... that might have to change, as in,

Right before I woke up this morning I was in a dream which took place in the near future, I sitting was in a stark 70's-style computer lab trying to write and article, Hilary and McCain were the candidates and after trying for many hours to write something interesting I just pressed my forehead to the edge of the table and stared at the floor, overcome at how derpressing and hopeless it was to live in a world where Hilary and McCain were running for president. It really felt like another 4 years of complete SHIT on the way either way.

Obama's retort:

Post Titled: PORTISHEAD

Post Titled: Uhm- University of Liverpool ad in the blog?
apparently... ya, how did that get there?

Post TITLED: Superman III is creepy and insane.
Watched it yesterday for the first time since I was very young, and those scenes which had been burned into my brain, but since hidden- they all came back, so bizarre and terrifying:



on top of that the trailer actually COMPLETELY lies about the plot and storyline details...

Post Titled: tax me.

It is true... German taxes... (*sniff-sniff, whimper*) I got a €100 raise from from last month to this month and APPARENTLY €46,51 of it went straight to taxes. Awesome. Very encouraging. That makes me really want to work more.
OR: Why not just give ALL of EVERYONE's money to the government and just give me a voucher booklet, that's all I really need- an effing booklet full of coffee and milk and fruit and cheese and coal and beer and bike repair vouchers and I#ll be just effing fine, guys...
I know I know, I have been warned of the insulting nature of the German tax Monster- it IS insulting to the individual, and then... hmm... has the potential to kill the will. BUT on the other hand there is the cutthroat capitalist method- where you are dying in a gutter and no one rally gives a damn... hmmm.

Post Titled: Thursday Night (which I thought was Wednesday Night) Non-Fiction 19.23 Uhr

Post Subtitled: "Austern ohne Schale" (Oysters without shells)
Went up to water Ms. Saul's flowers and plants "you can hang out at watch a movie if you want" she said and since her DVD player is all-region whereas mine is only region 2 this is a particularly lucrative prospect. Watered all the plants, noticing how directle out the window across the Hof there is a blonde girl with her desk right in front of the window so that if she is sitting there then she look directly into Ms. Saul's kitchen, which must be awkward because there is also the fold-down bathtub from the wall... which is the only way to bathe, and the curtains are skimply, anyhow, whatever- so I plopped on the couch and noticed a burnt DVD "Austern ohne Schale" started watching and was really into it, very low budget- (not even an imdb page, actually the director Jette Müller does) shot in Berlin, not exactly sure where, but it looks like Kreuzberg (if films are shot in berlin I always look for architecure AND grafitti as landmarks. Actually, this was another film where the sets look so similar to the apartments I know here that I felt like the actors might walk into the apartment at any time and plop their arse on the couch next to me lethargically.)
All it was was a film about people in their latelate 20s to early-to-mid 30s (it all drips with Berlinity) lost people... women looking for interesting men and true love and someone to have a satisfying existence & babies with, men who are looking for interesting women, etc. Exeryone is lethargic, drifting, wanting, quietly hating their job or unemployed- hm. Although this type of film might've been exhausted by Gen X in the mid to late 90s, and might usually be annoying- this one was not. The two main women who were the focus of the film, who are played by___ and ______(???) are really fascinating to watch ... (more later)...
P.S. wow... this film really has no net presence... it is mentioned here ant there, but no images or video...

Speaking of Berlin-ness, Dan just posted in BERLINOIR

Post Titled: the Dirty Projectors "Imagine it." live.

Post Titled: Massive Balls Marketing
The other day I mentioned having watched Idiocracy- and this fake Nokia ad titled "The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face." is sort of a step in that direction... actually, so is Aqua Teen, come to think of it. Imagine... a world in which we are all (mentally) 13 year old boys... however, I feel like this brief phase of early 21st century history could soon come to an end... (maybe. what the hell do I know, I live in Berlin.)

Post Titled: The Dirty Projectors "The Getty Address"
the Dirty Projectors' album "the Getty Address" (first full-length? 2006?) is not made of the the mindblowing poppy tightly-chaotic goodness one might encounter when hearing them live. Rather, it is an album for heaphones on a Fall Sunday, or an album to... to what?? As far as I know it is a concept album about the life of Don Henley... Little did I know that as I searched for live footage to add to my myspace profile there have also been a series of videos made for the Getty address album,(or as the YouTube video describes: "the only animated opera about DON HENLEY.") kind of great actually:

Post Titled: Awareness Test
Thanks to "hot tipper" Tash for the heads up

Post Titled: NY TIMES "Inflation's Toll in Vietnam"
GREAT FOTOS.

Post Titled: paul diddy - europialismush
go ahead, ...make your day less shitty:

Post Titled: Skype ripped from un-cold, un-dead hands in the workplace.

Today the first thing they did at work was go around to each effing department and give us all new standardized work-only skype accounts. Gotta love that effing Darth Vader School of Management... as we were all being schooled through the turorial of the new standardized contact system, one scene was plaing on repeat in my head:

"Governor Tarkin: You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.
Princess Leia: I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.
Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. "

Post Titled: Old Timey British Soldiers on LSD

thanks ELECTOPEASANT, this is... kind of adorable...

Post Titled: Wednesday Afternoon Mittagspause Non-fiction.
Post SubTitled: Molested in Translation.

Während mittagspause Dan brought up the issue of translated German titles bestowed upon Amercian television shows, i.e.:

Home Improvement = Hör mal, wer da hämmert ("Listen [to] who's hammering there")

Married... With Children = Eine schrecklich nette Familie("A terribly nice family")

rather than use our brains and memories, we just Googled it and came up with a list online, here are a few of the highlights:

Grey's Anatomy = Die jungen Ärzte ("The young doctors")

on the subject of NOT using your brain- I have been trying to not use my computer so much at home, opting to read instead... honestly, mmh- I recently watched Mike Judge's film "Idiocracy" (starring Luke Wilson) where the main character is put into a hybernation/suspended-animation-like state and wakes up in the year 2505- a time when the average IQ of the United States has dropped to near-retardation. Not a good movie, but a good premise and it actually kind-of scared me. I had read studies a few years ago that suggested that it may not be enough to simply read, but to stay mentally sharp throughout your life you had to challenge your brain- hm... uhm... does surfing the internet challenge my brain? NO. it is informational junkfood. facts and fun little texts - but what the hell am I LEARNING?!? am I even THINKING? hm.
So, I am kind of freaking out about this quietly when Ariel Waldman approves my facebook friend request, which i am very happy about- and I start looking at her friends, I come across PR blogger Brian Solis - whose blog I used to read- and then forgot about because I am overflooded with information and obviously can't keep in all packed in the waitingroom of my brain so I google him since we aren't facebook friends and I can't prowl his facebook profile and and and I find the blog agai easily, check it again to find a April 6th post called: "The Evolution of the News Business - Did the New York Times Miss the Point?" in which the quote: "Yes, we are traveling at light speed and not even realizing just how quickly we're missing everything else around us. It's like the movie Click where Adam Sandler fast-forwarded through his life only to realize that he had missed everything." really smacked me in the face... just lik ecomplaining about being a desk monkey... augh. endless. in order to have a life in which we can afford to "live" we most often have to opt for a life that is no life at all... health care... lunch breaks... paid vacation... grrr. now I am starting to sound like: "choose life." (sorry, I#ll blame the crankiness on the fact that the weather is shite.)

Post Titled: West Coast HIP HOP
recently rummaging through the stuff I brought back after Christmas- and re-discovered a few albums- mostly from groups that I saw randomly over the years and ended up becoming a fan of (not mmh, "underground" groups per se -but, rather, shall we say "under the radar"-ish sorta groups, i.e.:
crown city rockers,
the people under the stairs, lifesavas, blue scholars, Del tha funky Homosapien, blackalicious (even if gift of gab is one of the most uninspiring live performers ever), MF DOOM- (where is he from?), & Pigeon John:
(funny if you listen to what he is actually saying:)

Post Titled: unexpectedly charming scam-SPAM
Thinking: oh, how nice, Lady Di really wanted me to have this:
"GRANT AWARD NOTIFICATION

Attention: Grant Beneficiary

This is to bring to your information that your email has been randomly selected and approved as a charity grant beneficiary of THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION in commiseration of 10th anniversary of the demise of the Princess Of Wales .You are awarded a grant sum of £ 550,000.00 (Five Hundred And Fifty Thousand Great Britain Pounds) and for further instructions on how you are to put claim to your grant, you are to FORWARD a copy of this notice to our International Grants Officer as well as give him a call via contact details below:

Mr. James McArthur,
INTERNATIONAL GRANTS OFFICER,
GRANT AWARD DEPARTMENT,
THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION
FOUNDATION BUILDING,
214 GREAT QUEEN STREET,
LONDON, WC2B 5DF
UNITED KINGDOM.
Tel: +44 704 573 6050
Fax: +44 871 263 9807
Email: princessdianafundgrantaward@gmail.com

Congratulations once again from all staff of THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION and it is our hope that you will appreciate our gesture and that you be more involved in charitable acts

Sincerely,
Miss Helen Jones,
PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER,
GRANT AWARD DEPARTMENT,
THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION
FOUNDATION BUILDING,
214 GREAT QUEEN STREET,
LONDON, WC2B 5DF
UNITED KINGDOM.
Email: postmaster@princessdianfoundation.uk

*******************************************************
DISCLAIMER & CONFIDENTIALITY:
The information contained in this communication including any attachments is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and others authorized to receive it. It may contain confidential or legally privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient you are hereby notified that any disclosure, unauthorized use, copying, distribution or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.
If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by responding to this email and then delete it from your system. THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION is neither liable for the proper and complete transmission of the information contained in this communication nor for any delay in its receipt.
********************************************************"

Post Titled:
SHOCK TREATMENT


500.00 EUR = 786.899 USD

uhhhm, yep, that is today's faaaahking exchange rate...: never wanna get paid in dollars again...

Post Titled: Batman: the Dark Knight Trailer
stolen from Matthew Yglesias

Post Titled: Google App Engine
seems cool...

Part 2:

Post Titled: capitalism in europe.
I go to the Video World on Kottbusser Damm, there is a large compact disc polishing/repairing machine behind the counter- I never see it in use, nevertheless they scold me often when they think I may have set the dvd down on a surface other than its protective sleeve/case.
I ask: "hey, you repair scratched cds?"
"no."
"but how much would it cost to repair a scratched cd?"
"we don't do it."
"but how much would you charge to repair one?..."
"we... we don't... the machine is just for cleaning and repairing our own DVDs"
(me thinking: but it is in plain sight, you could earn an extra €50 a day while it just sits there...)
me, shrugging while I get a blank stare: "ok..."

(3 hours later...) this post actually inspired me to write to the head of Video World, Andreas Zachrau, in my very best Kreuzbergisch:

Subject: Video World geschäftsidee vorschlag
Lieber Herr Zachrau,
Ich gehe oft zu Video World am Kottbusser Damm, die mitarbeiter da sind toll und alles ist gut- nür gute erfahrung, ABER ich hab auch gesehen das es gibt eine CD/DVD polieren/reparieren maschine da- und ich hab gefragt ob es möglich um CDs/DVDs dahin zu bringen um die zu reparieren, aber die colleage hat "nein" gesagt, und ich dachte wenn jedes Video World so eine apparat hat, und ich könnte meine beschädigite CDs oder DVDs abgeben (vielleicht €1 oder €2 bezahlen für die Erneuerung-dienst) wann ich eine Film hole und abholen wann ich den Film wieder zurück bringe -das wäre toll, und jedes Video World laden könnte pro Tag viel mehr geld verdienen mit diesem service.
Was denken sie?

hmmm...p.s.
Now that i have written that I relaise that I need to write a follow up message about the extremely-un-erotic sihlouettes on their huge erotic bilboards in the front window... I will foto that. Seriously, it is bad.

Post Titled: general instability and discomfort.
Sitting at computers sucks. What the hell am I? A lab monkey? Were we born to spend our prime sitting hunched in front of computers? I know this is a tired argument, but really... really... creeeepy. Clearly I am an idiot for sitting here +40 hours a week... grr.

ANYHOW...Dan sent me some Charlton Heston quotes, he sounds like the white (old) Bill Cosby:

"In a speech to the Free Congress Foundation, he said:

Mainstream America is depending on you—counting on you—to draw your sword and fight for them. These people have precious little time or resources to battle misguided Cinderella attitudes, the fringe propaganda of the homosexual coalition, the feminists who preach that it's a divine duty for women to hate men, blacks who raise a militant fist with one hand while they seek preference with the other, and all the New Age apologists for juvenile crime, who see roving gangs as a means of youthful expression.

In To Be a Man, he writes:

Somewhere in the busy pipeline of public funding is sure to be a demand from a disabled lesbian on welfare that the Metropolitan Opera stage her rap version of Carmen as translated into Ebonics."

Post Titled: STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE...
given the explosive populartiy over the past few weeks of the blog STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE I can only conclude that the STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKEis also STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE... of course we should probably define "white people" here as middle-class college educated caucasians having come of age in (or having strong cultural connections to) North America (or perhaps also the United Kingdom) who are between the ages of 18-45. I think someone pointed that out in a comment so I think I just stole that idea from somwhere along the interweb...... actually, this entire post has no originality whatsoever, is is just ripped... so, (STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE contact: christian.lander@gmail.com ) ok. bleh.

Post Titled: Don't want to be at work just want to listen to Joy Division
after watching Control (dir. Anton Corbijn) the other day that is all I want to do, listen to effing Joy Division... all I have is Substance, essentially greatest hits... which is not in my iPod. shit. (oh, guess I can do that at work...) they tend to fade in and out of my life, mainly because they aren't a band you cna listen too often, so every 2 or 3 years, they phase in and it is good, then they phase out- and that is ok too... last time -interstingly enough- the Joy Dicision phase was triggered by the film 24 hour party people... which is essentially a flipside of Control, both worthwhile.




kind of creepy how well the film captures the band, here is a clip of above-embedded "She's Lost Control" but from the film:

random 2001 Space Oddessy video:

Post Titled: another pointless Newspeak cartoon

Post Titled: This can't be good for us...
long conversation with J.Go per phone from NYC last night, at one point we conscuded that we are simply ovewhelmed every day with information. SHe also works in the PR ballpark, but in fashion, and the problem is basically: there is this endless and ever-growing rush, an endless tsunami of information washing over you all the time... so... where I am short-circuiting is that I have more and more difficulty getting a big-picture view... the "big" picture is too big and it doesn't hold still long enough for you to take a mental snapshot...
A woman I interviewed last month said the same: "I'm just exhausted, there is soooo much information out there." Can't process it all. Then Dan sent this article this morning about deaths and health problems bloggers are having...
Conclusion: this can't be good for us.

Post Titled: Cold, Dead Hands

Post Titled: BÄR WITZ
"Entertain me"... so, how fast can you translate/type and skype a joke on a Friday afternoon while simultaneously pretending to work? Chris' infamous and insanely long bear joke came to mind...
[17:28:39]Wildfang says: nö erzähl du mir einen witz
[17:28:41]Wildfang says: los
[17:28:43]Wildfang says: jetzt
[17:28:45]Wildfang says: sofort
[17:29:12]Wildfang says:;(;((shake);(
[17:29:29]Wildfang says: (yawn)
[17:29:48] verdammt
[17:30:54] Ein typ vermietet eine schöne Hütte im Wald fur eine Woche, wollte weg von der Stadt, ein bischen Anglen und Jagen...
[17:32:20] er hat sich da entspannt, und am erste tag ging er im Wald zu jagen
[17:32:45] er war ein paar stunden unterwegs, ganz leise ducrch den Wald
[17:33:36] dan- plötzlich sah er eine resen grosses Bär der ißt hinter eine riesen großes stein
[17:34:34] ganz aufmerkasm er hat dieses Bär im koft geschossen, und der Bär fällt runter hinter der Stein.
[17:35:13] der Jäger freut sich und ging gegenüber zu dieser stein- aber der Bär war schon komplett weg!
[17:35:52] dann dink-dink-dink auf seine schulter von hinten
[17:36:23] Jäger har sich umgedreht, und da stand der Bär
[17:37:41] "du wolltest mich töten, oder. Hmm also- jetzt gibt ich die eine Entscheidung, entweder ich bring dich sofort um, oder ich fick dich und dann kannst du frei nach Hause gehen"
[17:38:27] Jäger würde lieber lebendig sein, als der Bär hat ihm gefickt, und dann war der Jäger frei
[17:38:47] ABER- er war jetzt verärgert.
[17:39:27]Wildfang says: tihi
[17:39:57] Er ging dem nächsten tag und kaufte sich eine grossere Waffe- eine richtig Elefant Gun, so das dieses mal könnte der Bär uberhapt nicht überleben
[17:40:29] also, er ging nach hause, schläfte gut, träumt von seine großen sieg
[17:40:46] und auf dem näschen tag, ging er vieder im Wald
[17:42:24] er hat gewandert bis diese gegend wo er vorher war- und dann- unglaublich, dieser böser Bär war genau da! der ißt immer noch hinter diese riesen großes stein...
[17:43:05] also jetzt mit died Elefant gun hat der Jäger -ganz aufmerksam- eine perfkete schoss erreicht
[17:43:24] genau zwischen die augen des Bärs-
[17:43:43] und der Bär fällr runter hinter diesem stein
[17:44:13] "jo, geil! muss jetzt super-to sein!" dachter der Jäger
[17:44:41] er ging gegnüber zu dieser stein, guckte herum, aber der Bär war niergendo-
[17:44:52] kein blut, keine spüren, nix!
[17:45:22] "was zum Teufel!?!" schreit der Jäger
[17:45:39] "ich hab ihn zwischen die augen erschossen!"
[17:46:08] dann kam auf seine schulter *dink-dink-dink*
[17:46:38] und der Bär hatte ihn heute richtig gefickt.
[17:47:07] Der Jäter schämte sich, und war auch jetzt KOMPLETT wütend.
[17:47:25]Wildfang says: tihi
[17:47:30]Wildfang says: aufgeregt
[17:47:37]Wildfang says: ganz schön lang
[17:47:40] Dem näschten tag ger ging wieder zum Jägerlagen und kaufte sich
[17:48:04] eine Rambo-Marke BAZOOKA.
[17:48:11] ohne scheiß
[17:48:21]Wildfang says: :D
[17:48:22] riesen groß und kräftig
[17:48:59] und er dachte: "jetzt. jetzt bringe ich diese freches scheißBär komplett unt total um."
[17:49:34] Wildfang says: du bist gut im witze erzählen
[17:50:08] er ging nach hause und träumte das Rambo und ihm haben der Bär zusamme jeägt, getöten, und aouf eine campfire gekocht und gegesen
[17:51:02] Der Jäger wachte früh auf, hast dich mit seinem besten Jägerkleider angezogen, hat der Bazooka vorbereitet und ging im Wald
[17:51:49] er hat keine zeit verschunden- und ist ganz leise zu diese gegend wieder geganden.
[17:52:23] Da- da ve der Bär, hinter diesem stein-
[17:52:44] und der Jäger had 3 rocket schosse
[17:53:42] er steht auf eine knee,
[17:53:58] und hat alle dret rocketen geschossen
[17:54:04] Wildfang says: ja
[17:54:45] ein für der Bär, eine explodiert der stein und der letzt hat eine riesen grosses Baum rundergebracht
[17:55:06] und es hat gelandet genau wo der Bär stand
[17:55:49] Der Jäger hat sich rightig rightig gefreut wegen dieses zerstörung
[17:56:04] Wildfang says:O
[17:56:38] es gab jetzt nur ein grosss loch in die Erde, rauch und kleine feuere überall
[17:56:59] Bär mußte mußte jetzt tot sein
[17:57:18] kein mann oder tier könnte sowas überleben
[17:58:01] der Jöger hat die ganze gegend ausgesucht- kein Bär! "ha ha ha, er ist bestimmt tot!"
[17:58:11] lachte der Jäger.
[17:58:32] er holte eine flasche Jägermeister aus seine tasche und
[17:58:37] trank,
[17:58:39] dan
[17:58:49] dink-dink-dink auf seinem schulter
[17:59:45] Bär fragte ganz leise und süß: "du bist eigentlich nicht hir wegen Jagen, oder...?"
[18:00:09] Wildfang says: (rofl)ganz übel