Thursday, August 31, 2006

Françoise PENG!

(pet turtle)

Question of the day: Nancy and I were talking last night and I mentioned that identical twins were genetically identical, so far as I've heard. "Do they have the same fingerprints?" she asked. "Uhm..." I have no idea, is there some complex chaos-scramble code that exists to produce the patterns of people's fingerprints? One that can randomly generate fingerprint patters? If all other body parts are standard then HOW the HECK do fingerprints turn out so that each otherwise-standard human has these parts of them that are all comepletely randomly arranged... well, I suppose the same goes for blood vessels in the retina (hence retinal scanning, right?) and why wouild that be either?...
Nancy suggested I call the library. "They know everything, you just ask and they call you back with an answer! It's great!" SOunds better than Google. Speaking of which Claire said Google is up to evil things, which is strange since their corporate motto is "don't be evil"... oh, Google, I knew you were too good to be true.
Nancy also said that the bright colors of Fall leaves on trees is actually tree excrement. Well, it was actually an answer to my question "how do trees poop?" apparently they put all unwanted waste into the leaves (hence the crazy colors) and then shed them. Who knew? It is amazing how much Nanc' knows about plants, just like Russ knows about bugs.
So I was freaking out after work (probably cause by 8 hours of staring intensely at a computer screen) so I headed to the Seattle Public Library to ride the escalators:
which happens to be very theraputic... as well as watching that screen scroll by wiht al the most recently checked-in books... it's like watchig a school of fish... anyhow, I went there with the intent of calming down but just became really scattered adn confused, the library, although I LOVE IT) is a HUMAN TRAP! From the very moment you walk in- even the DOORS are heavy adn do NOT move easily, then you go up, up, up and can't get back down very easily... that spiral, can't tel up from down in there, but I did find a book about the history of Mezzotints and then all the American Splendor collections, of course I haven't seen my library card in awhile and I probably have tons of late fees, grr.

Walked up Madison St. and stopped in the Hideout to finally pick up the SuttonBeresCuller photos I bought in the jukebox a month-and-a-half ago, didn't necessairily intend to have a beer but it seemed quite natural once I was there, and looking thorugh the publication of barfly drawings just published - whichactually made me feel a bit more normal... because it is full of some super wierd (and a lof of pretty good) sh*t, actually. Drawing is so great. (a heavy idea, I know.)

Greg plopped down next to me and told me about a WWII plan to drop 100,000 bats with little bombs attached to them onto Tokyo (because it was a primarily wooden-house city and the bats would nest in the rafters then explode!) Sounds insame "but not as insane as dropping a nuclear bomb." which is true.
Still, here I am hours later and can't stop thinking about those bats with the little
bombs strapped to them. Just picturing hunderes of women doing their
all for the war effort, like the "Rosie the Riveter" posters or maybe Lucille Ball "owhH- ooooowHH" A whole warehouse full of long tables, and they're taking the bats out of the cages one by one and trying to lay
them flat on the table:"hold still, bat, I'm trying to get this bomb
backpack on you", such a struggle... actually it totally sounds like something the Joker would do and then BLAME on Batman.

On a serious not, the effed-up thing is that IF we dropped bats with bombs on Japan instead of Atomic/H bombs at LEAST they might've had a fighting chance... little kids with slingshots could've destroyed them mid-air (like we always tried to do as kids) We only hit one once, but if every kid had a slinghshot then maybe...

Oh world.
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Post titled PARTY WIERDO
this is way over my head


this stuff is too wierd to be Reuters...
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

In the days of electonic and instantaneous communication I almost feel like physical means of long-distance communication (i.e. post/letter/mail/post office) are mysterious, unsure and unreliable... which is untrue, but that's the paranoia which has been brewing...
For example: I go to the post office, give them a package and some money, and whoosh- they take the package and money but where does it go... off. Somewhere...
I'm selling a bunch of my stuff (books mostly) on eBay, so I've been encountering this feeling many times with many trips to the post office... the tiny asian lady who works there is named Foon and although she isn't overly friendly or smiley, I think she's pretty cool. There was an elder african gentleman in fromnt of me in line askinh Foon:
"Do you have eggh stamp?"
"No, we have no EGG stamp-"
"Eggh stamp, you have no eggh stamp?"
"No, just here: American flag, Superman, kid book, President stamp, no EGG stamp"
"Oh, no-no, 1,2,3- 7,EIGH stamp-"
"Oh, Eigh stamp, you wan' eigh stamp, ok, ok- $3 dolla, 12 cent"
...very cute...

Went out to lunch with my cousin Claire yesterday, which was a really nice surprise. It is always reassuring to see Claire and Nigel, I feel that it is possible to "grow-up" but still have an intense curiousity about all things cultural, and "grow-up" on your own terms- without really, well, becoming a tool- I'd hope for that. We shall see... life, jeez... Claire and Nigel's dog Allie just narrowly escaped death from a gall bladder, which is so crazy to think- that bad things can happen so rapidly inside the body, I can't really comprehend that - and try not to think about it... at least it wasn't cancer, cancer is some scary sh*t.

The whole "leaving Seattle" things has caused pangs of nostalgia ( if it is possible to experience nostalgia before you even leave a place) but I even went to Pike's Place and wandered around just to wander around Pikes Place, thinking "hmm, will I ever do this again?" Seattle is so friggin nice, it is almost ridiculous. berlin, however, is amazing, so I have nothing to worry about- I'll just do what I can until the 4th of Ocober when I fly out, and be done with this part of my life. Odd. Seattle is blossoming so well and has so much potential that I kind of feel like I'm abandoning it in a way. I mean, I've been here 8 years (on and off) and have done my part (or so I feel) to both experience ad contribute to this place as an interesting and valuable place... like, in a way- here's a town that had to rise out of the ashed of it's own "grunge" and "dot com" stigma and find itself once again, which it is doing... but it is so wierd, I feel lik eI've been here all through that awkward re-adolescence and now we are going our separate ways... having been a great help to one another, this strange but beautiful city and I.
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this thing is so dumb:

adopt your own virtual pet!

it's like the stupidity of all mankind bundled and neatly presented in one tiny interactive graphic... almost makes me want to test products on his beady little pixelated eyes...and it only takes 2 minutes to create one of your own. You get to name it and choose the color... and he got lonely so I made another one, which took 3 minutes:

adopt your own virtual pet!

Hope they're ok,...
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

This morning's post is (tastefuly) titled:
"BLOGGIN' DAT ASS" (or "One Giant Leap Backwards for Feminism (which was so absurd it verged on comedy)")
I don't know how to go about this properly,can't actually put it into words- but you remember Jodi Foster in TAXI DRIVER?

Well, she was all up in "tha club" Lauren talked me into going to last night. This girl was there with her minimum-amount of clothing and her semi-abusive ogre-of-a-boyfriend. When I wasn't entranced by Star Wars (hugely projected on the wall) I was entertaining myself by trying to discreetly foto her and her craaaaazzy ass- which was flashing everywhere like chasing E.T. goddamn through the woods with a flashlight, hundreds of people in this place and her ass is sending out signals like a homing beacon... these meatmarkets - boy,... I tell ya. I only go to Belltown to mingle with the Polo'd and Abercrombie'd about twice a year, which gives me about 6 months inbetween to srub the "ICK" off... got complinemented on my "Dork-Thug" look, Ugh, barf, bang head against the wall. anyhow, I'm going to continue Nursing my nasty gintonic hangover... the ass-girl, jeezus ( reminds me of Chaz Palminterri's line to Anna Paquin in Hurly Burly : "You and your tits and your ass-! Football duddn't stand a chance!" (ah, but Star Wars on the other hand... did stand a chance...)
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Drawing I did that I don't like that much (actual size):
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I walked to work this morning (takes over an hour) laughing all the way listeing to "Wait, Wait- Don't Tell Me!" which happens every Saturday morning. At least this week I wasn't on the but cracking up all by myself- or, like last week, when a severely disabled/ mentally retarded guy gets up on the bus and I just happen to burst out laughing AS I WAS LOOKING AT HIM. (Of course it would be impossible to explain "no, sir, I'm actually laughing at this news quiz show on the radio- not you!") Suffered the looks of death for that one...
SO, nadinechen moved to the big wonderful city of Berlin today, schooeeeene grosstadt, whoa- this really blows my mind- "is this really happening?" yes, apparently so- wir werden zusammen eine Zukunft bauen aus nichts (also, aus energie unt liebe, eigentlich) Terribly exciting. My head is hardly here. I love Nadine, I love Berlin. when I was studying in Frankfurt an der Oder I was in Berlin 3-4 afternoon/evenings a week. I'd just take the train into town and walk around. See movies, go to bookstores, visit random galleries, museums and studios. Sleeping in bus stops and train stations if I missed the last train, which wasn't often... Oh and there's that little theatre... where is it... I saw "Sweet and Lowdown" there as well as several other less-memorable films.
Come to think of it I must've been quite annoying at that time. I'd just walk in any friendly-looking door. There was one time when a textiles girl invited me to "come over any time" to her studio, but the day I showed up there was just a neurotic Korean there. "Sie werden bald wieder zurueck kommen- setzen sie sich-" so I did and ended up waiting for hours nervously in this enormous room full of dummies, sewing machines, cloth and nervous energy-

Here's a postcard my mom gave me of the Berlin U-Bahn and S-Bahn System, I glued it into my journal along with the wierd lyrics from that song "Berlin. Berlin am Meer, schoen wenn's so waehre..." Which translates to something like: "Berlin. Berlin on the sea, beautiful- if it were so..." (Jeans Team, heh.)
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my dad feeding kangaroos in Australia, June 1982:
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Saturday, August 26, 2006

chihuly blows

chihuly blows
Originally uploaded by pdgibson.
another one- i guess I didn't realize (until the dawn of flickr) how many people photograph so much random stuff as they go through life... these just keep popping up, kinda getting bored of them/the idea by now- I need a new poster/sticker campaign already, hmm... could make fun of myself for once: "TAR ART RAT izza momma's boy"
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This truck parked across from Group Health on 15th was FULL OF DEBRIS! Like, bannisters, broken bricks and flooring... in a normal looking truck that would usually be an airport shuttle... if it weren't full to the brim with debris...

wanted to see Idlewild today with my sister but it was such a beautiful day that we detoured and walked to Madison Park Beach.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

oh, wait- no they didn't! Pluto ISN'T a planet anymore?!
well, in other news- Endless Fun Bunny, the amaging "grows 600% in water" toy which has been a household fav is dead, and I bought "Endless Fun/ a.k.a. 'Do Not Swallow' Octopus" (not that EFB could ever be replaced...

(kind of like JAWS, but with a sleeping kewpie and a freakish rowing toy octopus... I have high hopes for "Do Not Swallow" Octopus, I reallly do)...

see disturbing exploded bunny (in bowl) below:
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The power was out at ceas' work, I stopped by and had a lovely time goofing off and stamping 1,000 envelopes until the power finally went back on. The drawings in the show are pretty amazing as well... not all, of course, but a few really stood out... on the walk home i kept snapping fotos of oddities along the way (see above) I don't usually do that but there was just so much strange stuff out there tonight.
I miss talking to ceas, she's great... and now responsible for me having seen every page of the 750+ page VOGUE out now... so much energy goes into those magazines it is ubbelievable... I guess even more goes into crappy television and movies, alas... what do we do?...
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I ride my bike by this gas station in Chinatown everyday, it seems to be stuck somewhere between 1920 and 1960.
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1998 Paul and Nadine

1998 Paul and Nadine
Originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.
Lindsey Bagnschi just sent me this foto from back in the day-
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

As if it weren't wierd enough about the Batman-Terror Cosmetic coincidence, here's where things get even wierder, NOTE: Excerpt from William Gibson's NEUROMANCER:
"Case has his nervous system repaired at an illegal clinic using brand new technology that Armitage gives to the clinic in return for their work. Armitage also pays them to leave several sacs of the same mycotoxin in Case's blood vessels which will eventually burst. He promises Case that if he completes his work he will remove them. Modifications are also made to render Case unable to use most street drugs."

and News report from the Lincoln Journal Star:
"Imagine a simple shot that could help prevent recovering meth addicts from relapsing. That may not be far away, thanks to a team of University of Nebraska scientists knee-deep in abusive drug research.

The five-person team next week will begin testing a vaccine that could inhibit methamphetamine’s highly addictive properties, project leader Sam Sanderson said Monday.

The researchers’ ultimate goal: a shot or patch that would release antibodies in a person’s body capable of stopping meth from entering the brain, where the drug becomes addictive."
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Finally remembered to look up the Sci-Fi Wunderland that was the Daft Punk (Coachella), can you say "one gazillion LEDs" yes, a Gazinnion LED's and much much mish-mash-upping of their own songs, whoa-hey. Almost made me wish I was a robot... ant they even had a Johnny 5- type robot moving through the audience, very friendly!

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I was flipping through the channels yesterday and there was just crap about the JonBenet guy, flip-flip-flip the best shot was of him sitting in business class with a regular guy next to him on a flight from THAILAND to CALIFORNIA! What the heck could they have possibly talked about...
"Been over here long?"
"Kind of."
(long pause)
"How long is the flight?"
"Uh, I don't know - I slept on the way here..."
"all those time zones..."

The only tolerable channel was CBC from canada, where they kept reporting on a tornado that destroyed one house owned by a farmer and his young pregnant wife...
I love the word "Manitoba"...
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Monday, August 21, 2006

whatifinsteadofgettingsofterjeans gotstiffer
andstarchier as they got older untiltheday whenthey
finallyshattered...andyou had to sweep up the shards and
throw them away...
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Kommt Zusammen...
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I have always wanted to see these lyrics from Snoop Dogg's Debut album "Doggystyle" formally represented in a clear and concise manner.

soooo... I went to the Henry Darger show at the Frye finally this afternoon and... I left the museum completely shamed and feeling like a big wimp... and thinking that maybe there's more to life than acid-free paper and archival ink.
Amazing how getting hung-up on the wrong kinds of details can screw your productivity to no end (or no product?) Amazing.
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Sunday, August 20, 2006

This post entitled: SUNDAY, YOU ARE NOT A REAL DAY.
1.Woke up, rolled over and watched Nelly Furtado videos on youtube for the better part of an hour, fell back asleep.
2.remembered the two random kids hanging out on our doorstep between 9pm-2am last night who finally ended up entering the apt. and climbing into issara's bed then blockading the door behind them. random.
3.Lamented not getting a shuffleboard table (they were all totally bogarted by party wierdoes and Canterbury regulars.) Got a lot of good conversation in with Mr. Will Corr whom I haven't hung out with in millenia. WHy, I'm not sure- laziness perhaps?
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Have you talked to your kids about...

removing former text and reconstructing the fishing poles here was pleasantly tedious, and finding a color that would work for the text... (not that the pink "works" but putting text over reflecting water, hmm, hadn't tried that before. Open to suggestions...)
Note from flickr foto, not sure itf'n it'll transfer:
"I really reallllly want this to be a real ad in Forbes and Business week and all those sicky-icky plague of locust-type publications, but for now... I'll just... keep making stuff when I get bored at work..."
here's a link to the original image just to be fair,...
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Saturday, August 19, 2006

I kept approaching nervous-breakdown territory yesterday, mainly because while dissassembling my room I kept finding remainders and reminders of the past (some good, some not) that started becoming cumulatively - well, upsetting. I went out to run errands and was halfway to downtown before realizing that my debit card wasn't in my wallet- and if you don't have that stupid plastic card you can't do anything you intended to do, so I ran through the high-powered sprinklers in Volunteer Park and calmed down for a little while...
Finally, after a week of phone tag, I went to the airport and retrieved my long lost bag... with phone charger, camera battery charger, deodorant, and contact lenses. Not wearing deodorant for a week wasn't that big of a deal, I'm wondering if the deodorant-making companies don't just have us duped, I mean- it was a hot week, I was biking, but I never became unbearably stinky so long as I showered. It's like John Mumm says- "Paul, those fabric softener sheets are just a scam, you don't need them." Which is so true... ok, mabye that comparison doens't make any sense...

The accident involved dark chocolate.

I love it when newspapers say "a 21-year-old man" because I've never bet a 21-year-old man, only boys... don't you have to have totally gray or white hair to be a man? Or drive a NASCAR, or stomp on people's skulls? In that case I know no men. Boys - just boys everywhere.

There's some guy on "Wait, Wait- Don't Tell Me..." this morning who is sitting-in for Peter Segel and even sounds like Peter Segel but something's missing... the boisterous wit... everyone in the audience is shouting "Luuuuuke" which sounds like "booooo" of course. That's the running joke, ugh.
Now a girl on This American Life this morning sounds like Sarah Vowell, but she's been on before. Either way it seems like "doppelgangers-on-the-radio" day. Although since I can't SEE these people there should be a word for "voice doppelganger" but I don't think there is...

Henry Darger show opens at the Frye tonight, that's exciting... if it doesn't make us all want to DIE, of course. Well, I just called and the museum is only opened until 5- which is wierd, becuasse today is the Opening day,...

I feel like my brain it totally uncomfortably shrink-wrapped today for some reason. I want to be outside before I start climbing the walls in here.

On a positive note, the live-action Captain Underpants videos I worked on with Josh are finished. first two on the list there)
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Thursday, August 17, 2006

I got off work yesterday and put Coltrane's "Ascencion" in my headphones, which was actually a weclome cacouphany to drown out the workday's uneventfulness. All for the walk home I was stuck behind these 2 goth girls walking up James, I couldn't get around them- and one of them had really long hair, which I have an irrational fear of. Hair that practically goes down to the knees is just freakish, like if she turned her head too quickly it might whip*snap* and crack a telephone pole in half. A guy sleeping in some bushes under the bridge hopped up totally leaving a trail of leaves and dust in the air as he ran past me to ask the girls out for a beer, which they politely refused.

My sister Lauren made a good dinner of bruschetta uniquely topped with avacado, mozzeralla, peppers, etc. and mom called. We have had sporadic contact with the parents for many months now- first the phone is icealand was offline, then they were house-hopping and generall unavailable, then here staying with Lauren where there is no home phone, and LA where nobody ever answers the phone, now England where their phone can't recieve calls and they have no internet acces save for the library.
For almost a half hour of our coversation my kept saying "You should try to think practiaclly about all this, you have a lot of opportunities in Seattle, are you sure you should be moving to Berlin? You know Germany is headed for big problems, right?"
"Yes, mom, but Germany's problems pale in comaprison to the US's, we're spending ourselves into oblivion and fighting/causing wars all over the world. I don't even know what is going to happen here, but it won't be pretty."
"Yes, but that probably won't be in our lifetimes-"
"So I'm thinking of posterity."
Ans so-on and so-forth. They're just being concerned parents, I suppose...
I could care less, really, about any potential human resource shortages that Europe may have to "fuel its economy", the problem will correct itself somehow, whether by immigration or procreation. Meanwhile, the United States will burn it's candle from all sides and do its thing until it can do it no longer... Europe will keep on truckin'as it always does. As it always has.
(Dahrling if you are reading this, don't worry.)

After being quite annoyed with that phone conversation Lauren and I headed to the War Room for No Clue's show, which although the turnout wasn't great, the music was cleverly composed and energetic, as it should be. Jeremy's been working hard on all this, and I think it'll work out ultimately. For once I was actually relieved of my post as "dorkiest white guy at the hip-hop show" by this guy who completely trumped me- literally out on the dance floor spastically prancing around to this mega-bass heavy gangsta-esque rap, delightful actually. All button-up small plaid shirt, closed-cropped hair and glasses lookign like a computer programmer, god bless him. Wish I could've video'd that...

I had a very very long walk home - back to my sister's to pick up my bag and then to my house must've been several miles, but the genius of it was that I burned a cd from her iTunes which included that crazy-ass "Gasolina" song, Jay-Z, Johnny Cash, Gnarls Barkley, Devo, and even Nelly effing Furtado- totally top 40 stuff (inspired by that last episode of 6-Feet Under, perhaps?) The Streets were pretty much empty at 2:30 and I danced like a complete idiot all the way home, it was great.

Fell asleep and woke up to the sounds of Deutsche Welle livestreaming and NPR/KUOW playing as my alarm, which by the way, WILL make your head explode within a matter of minutes.
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Money is a subject I rarely touch upon, especially personal finances but I can safely say that the $6.99 I spent to download TETRIS to my phone was the best $6.99 I've spent in years. Or ever. No joke... just think, TETRIS anytime anywhere from now on...
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Sunday, August 13, 2006

TAR ART RAT "Art is Tar"

TAR ART RAT "Art is Tar"
Originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.
I need to try using watercolors every once in awhile...
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To paraphrase NPR from today:
"Since 1966, when the government actually started counting, roughly the same number of Americans have died in terrorist attacks as have died by getting struck by lightining, in allergic reactions to peanuts or in accidents involving deer... which means I was only slightly off with the guestimate. (which, if I was actually quoted correctly would've said "We should probably be more afraid of being struck by lighting than ever dying in a terrorist attack, but what we should be afraid of is the recent provisions of the USA Patriot act and the loss of freedoms at the hands of the Dept. of Homeland Security. If the freedoms we are supposedly protecting are revoked or rolled back one-by-one, then is this still something we can even call "The United States"?)

I dunno folks, all's I've got to say is that I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT TERRORISM BUT I'M TERRIFIED OF FLIGHT DELAYS, for reals.

(sorry, still blowing-off some steam here from the airport.)
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Saturday, August 12, 2006

reflected in the eye of an odd creature

Originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.
Vancouver Art Gallery
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Long lost Eugooglizer question, just found the link again, kinda fun.
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I just spent 20 hours at the airport yesterday/today and got a whole lotta nowhere... missed Chris' wedding.
Fortunately I had no internet access while camping out there at gate A5 or there would be a whole buffet-food-fight of venomous words in place of this exhausted and apathetic posting.

I wanted to kick everyone's face in by this morning, but I'm ok now, just sad that I wasn't able to see everyone...
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Thursday, August 10, 2006

(ok, not really, but I'm trying to have some fun here and what else do I have to blog about since I have to get on a flight today and am effing doomed to lots of long lines... and there is a striking similarity between security at the airpost and the panic the (Jack Nicholson) Joker caused in Gotham...) SEE:

From the Seattle Times this morning:

"TSA employees at Sea-Tac are sifting through luggage in search of liquids, lotions and gels — which were banned beginning at 4 a.m. today from all carry-on luggage, Betancourt said.

The list of banned substances also includes all drinks, toothpaste, perfume, shampoo, hair gel, suntan lotion, cosmetics and similar items. Even drinks purchased in the airport cannot be carried onto flights.

Baby formula and medications will be allowed but must be inspected at security checkpoints.

"There's a lot of makeup going into the garbage today," airport spokesman Parker said."


EXCERPT from Tim Burton's 1989 BATMAN Screenplay by Sam Hamm Based on the Character Created by Bob Kane:


THEME MUSIC CONTINUES as a grinning, deranged pitchman -- THE JOKER -- pushes his shopping cart down the aisle. The shelves are filled with products bearing his TRADEMARK HARLEQUIN'S FACE. He waves merrily in time to the music.


PANICKED TECHNICIANS swarm the booth. The studio feed has been JAMMED. Every monitor shows THE JOKER'S PROMO.



... new improved Joker brand. With
the secret ingredient... SMYLENOL!
(a sweep of the hand)
Let's go to our blind taste test.

TIGHT ON an anonymous MAN -- GAGGED AND BLINDFOLDED, tied to his chair, squirming, struggling. On the table before him is a package labeled "BRAND X." A SUPERIMPOSED TITLE reads: "NOT AN ACTOR."

JOKER (cont.)
Ooh. He's tense. Irritable. Out of
(wagging a finger)
He's been using Brand X! But with new
improved Joker brand...


JOKER (cont.)
... it's a SMILE EVERY TIME!!


Television sets all over Gotham, as startled citizens react to the JOKER'S maniacal promo.

I know what you're saying. Where can
I buy these fine, fine new products?
-- Well, that's the gag, folks, you
never know. Chances are... you've
bought 'em already!!!


- A YOUNG MAN watching the bedroom TV as he dresses for a date. He's got an aerosol deodorant can poised under one arm, ready to spray. He looks down at the can, suddenly uncertain. Could it be... ?

- A FAMILY in their kitchen, eyeing a 12-inch portable as MOM serves dinner. They dig in automatically, then FREEZE with their forks in midair.

- A MIDDLE-AGED MATRON at the living room TV. Shocked, she calls to her husband -- and gets no reply. We FOLLOW HER to the bathroom door.

On the floor she sees an OVERTURNED SHAMPOO BOTTLE. Then: her HUSBAND, slumped down in the tub, a lethal grin on his face. She lets out a SHRIEK.
Contaminated Products Claim 13 Lives

- An ANCHORWOMAN on the evening news. Her complexion is curiously sallow. BLACK BAGS show under her eyes.

... six new deaths, with no clues as
to the Joker's identity or demands. The
list of potentially lethal products now
includes: perfume -- mascara -- cold
cream --

- The makeover counter at Bloomingdale's. SECURITY GUARDS rush to the scene as THREE MATRONLY CUSTOMERS go into simultaneous smiling fits.

- An ANCHORMAN with a BIG UGLY ZIT on his nose:

- a seeming pattern of beauty and
hygiene products. Cologne -- mouthwash --
underarm deodorant --

- A SUBWAY CAR jammed with STRAPHANGERS. HUGE PATCHES OF SWEAT under every arm. The doors slide open; ONCOMING PASSENGERS RECOIL VISIBLY at the unendurable stench.

- The original ANCHORWOMAN, whose look is now 100 percent natural. Her hair is frizzy. Her eyebrows are gone. Every wrinkle on her face is plainly visible.

Hair spray and eyebrow pencil. We
repeat: do not use the following
products --

- A LARGE DRUGSTORE. CASHIERS sit idly by the registers. The store is utterly devoid of customers"

Excerpt borrowed from
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a very unusual and unexplainable thing happend just now, I honestlyy am "baffled" (if I can use that word) and this is the posting I wrote in my friend Jerome Veith's blog abot the fact that I was able to write in his blog:

"Jerome? How was I able to log into your blog? I have no idea how this happened... I typed MY name and password in and was sent to YOUR profile which is IMPOSSIBLE because I'm at work and you wouldn've never used this computer... I don't get it. Sorry to hijack an entry but I thought this was so bizarre and unexplainable that I should write you about it on your own blog...

I didn't even know he HAD a blog- he LIVES IN BOSTON for christ's sake, how how how did this happen, effing anomaly... This makes no sense- none whatsoever, and neither does this from a recent NPR report:

"About one-third of children age 6 and younger even have a television in their room, just so they can watch their shows while parents are occupied elsewhere."
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I went to a Mariners game last night (wasn't particularly enthused to go (AT ALL, actally), but Megan Bradley was in town and Nanc' needed a 'date' because two other couples were going along.

I'll have to amit that the pure maxxed-out overstimulation, the hypperreality of seeing real playyers on a grass fields with oversized ads and video and lights and speakers barking adn booming music ws actually kind-of beautiful.
Not much happened during the game until there was a grand slam in the 10th which ended it, ouch. Poor poor Devil Rays (team I had never heard of before yesterday) apparently their strategy effed them in the end- the walked 2 players with what almost seemed like a game of catch between the pitcher and catcher.

ceas and her sister apparently walked by my work yelling and waving this morning and I didnt see them, PROBABLY because earlier the "Ride the Duck" amphibian Seattle tour truck-boat drove by with 50 8-year-olds doing coordinated dance moves to what i think may have been a Gwen Stefani song...
after that I tried to pretend that outside didn't exist and it wasn't sunny and those kids weren't sadly indoctrinated.
It is so much more than white noise down here sometimes. There was a country band that could be heard from 4 blocks away yesterday and the of course crackheads fighting the busses and telephone booths... that isn't white noise anymore, now is it?

Pleasantly trying to read "grendel" before it sells on eBay in a few days- I've been trying to do this to liquidate my way-too-many book(s) collection. It is a good way to get oneself to read: pressure/. Like "shoot, this auction ends in 4 days, gotta finish it by then." Hopefully this ridiculous system will continue to semi-function...
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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

why, google, why did you have to bend over for this? I want to love Google, but sometimes I feel like it may be forgetting it's verty own "don't be evil" motto. *sigh*

Thanks Nigel for the heads-up on the Jesus Camp, in which Jesus seems to be a bit TOO awesome.
I used to read David Byrne's "don't call it a blog" journal all the time, but have fallen out of the habit, I'd almost forgotten how fascinating it most often is. Good stuff.

Work is excrutiating, the only thing that struck me all day was the fact that my "Yogi Tea" brand teabags were called "Imperial Earl Grey"... which seems like a complete contradiction. No, it IS a complete contradiction.
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Sunday, August 06, 2006

This was the site i used to check what the weather was like on this random street corner in Reykjavik while I was talking to the folks, kinda sad I don't need it any longer...
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CHIHULY BLOWS in Germany, too

I doubt most Germans know who Dale Chihuly is (and let's just be thankful for that) but Nadine took a bunch of stickers back to Frankfurt am Main with her and has been sending fotos of the handiwork- so heakjea, nice! danke, schoenste!
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oh, good. thanks, mr. savage. (and thanks ceas for pointing that out)
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nadine theatre
Originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.
I don't actually think anyone reads my blog anyhow exept nigel, maybe ceas and maybe vernon so it is safe to say that this girl, Nadine, asked me to marry her and I said "yes. definitely. -yes." We are moving to Berlin together somtime before the end of the year. I've been trying to tell people in-person, though so if you read this and I haven't told you yet just pretend like you don't know and act surprised when I do tell you, which will be soon...


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Saturday, August 05, 2006

tree cave at the beach

tree cave at the beach
Originally uploaded by TAR ART RAT.
somehow this tree is still alive, even with no soil beneath it (erosion?) and crazy salty winds coming straight off the ocean- pretty amazing really.
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All in one block riding by on the bus several very "Erie,Indiana"-types were found:

The guy who guards the door next to Nordstrom Rack in downtown is classic. Tall, poor posture, large belly he is always wearing Martix-y sunglasses and is fully decked out in all black uniform with rent-a-cop utility belt, he looks like something out of an old Disney movie and someday I'll remember to take his photo.

Two bros also walking nearby had the same Abercrombie cargo shorts on, navy blue t-shirts adn identical adidas white with black stripe shoes.

Behind them two hugely overweight guys (one Pacific Islander and one white) both wearing black t-shirts, black sweatshorts and black tennis shoes.

I stayed up until 4am watching Jacques Tati's "M. Hulot's Holiday" which was so so so good. The Hulot movies make me laugh more than anything I can think of- except maybe kids in the hall or Buster Keaton. On top of that the Tati details- the DETAILS! Oh, lovely.

Yesterday was a strange day- Sammy's rooms in the OK were offically evicted (formerly main offices of operation for "" with Mehatem and Ratesh, ah good ol' days.) I found in the piles of stuff in the alley a book that was holloed out for hiding things- really, like in the movies! It had a perfect cut out through the 200+ center pages in which once could hide, well, cash I suppose, and I wonder what/where/how this book came about- the cut was so perfect and discreet...
Somebody said Sammy went back to etheopia, I wonder- it is alsways sad to see people's stuff in piles on the street- but I figured I might as well get rid of some of my crap while the pile (which will have to be professionally hauled away anyhow) is there, soo goodbye old computer that I came to college with- and monitor and all the random wood I've found and thought I'd use for art projects- all piled up now in a smelly urine-soaked alley waiting to be sent to its final resting place... try not to think of the Brave Little Toaster, which I swear must be some kind of propaganda film to help promote packrat-ness, heartwarming little tale of people's attachment and nostalgia for inanimate household appliances in disrepair... oh, cruel material world!
P.S. whoa, I just googled "The Brave Little Toaster" and found out that there was a follow-up called "The Brave Little Toaster goes to Mars"?!? Not europe, not Australia, but MARS...
Led by Toaster (Deanna Oliver), the gang of appliances--plus new friends Faucet (Farrah Fawcett), Ceiling Fan (Carol Channing), Microwave (Wayne Knight), Hearing Aid (Fyvush Finkel), Calculator (Stephen Tobolowski), and more--blast off on an interplanetary adventure to save the family's baby."

To save the family's baby? On mars?... That's the thing about Disney Home VIdeo, they just don't know when/where to stop these days now do they? For example, the first Alladin movie was a quality film (88% on, but then you put HOW MANY sequels straight to video and market them to kids who can't rell the difference between Alladin and Alladin: Return of Jafar (25% on rottentomatoes) OR Alladin King of Thieves (22%) even though Robin Williams did the voice for this straight ot video crap I've never heard of... ok, hm, I KNOW this is a silly and waste-of-time argument, but there's something to it right? Or am I just totally rambling here bored off my arse indoors at work on a beatuiful sunny Saturday afternoon/.

I also find myself once again shocked at how much more I care about/have to say about movies and popculture crap-ola than art.
Art, gosh, criticisms i stick to:
"that's some clever sh*t"
*silence* (in which case it is NOT clever sh*t)
bad, huh?
Well, in the same way people like music, I mean- for example- some old michael jackson comes on and people are like "yea, this sh*t's good!"
Is that dumbing it down too much?
no, I think the problem is that I have so very little patience for all the b.s. spewing forth from artists about why and what they are doing/trying to do. I wish there was less explanation and analysis, ... I mean, I'm glad it exists, but more often than not I couldn't care less. OR I"M JUST REALLY EFFING LAZY/impatient and prefer images to text
Hmpf. Ok, so I'm cranky.

On another note:
Q: how the heck does craigslist make money? I can't figure it out- there are no ads or fees...
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oh good, so... I guess this means there weren't any weapons of mass destruction afterall.

I saw mr. dominic scarpelli last night, long time no see.

tash had a marvelous suggestion for me killing time at work today:

"okay, here's something i do when i'm bored... think of two characters from
movies and start making up a scenario about them meeting... like, what if
christian slaters character from pump up the volume met... ummm... wolverine
from x-men!!! they would start a band called... "pirate mutants" and take
over the world! i can derive hours of entertainment from stuff like that...
but then again i'm kindof a dork. yeah."

Paul Thomas to Tasa

I'm thinking Ms.Piggy meets Parker posey from Party Girl, hot.
PP: so if you marry kermit will you take his last name,
MP: HMMMM, I don't think so my dear, I'm a modern woman and "Piggy the
Frog" just doesn't have that certain j'ne ce qoi about it-
So, as you can see- it kinda worked...
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Friday, August 04, 2006

both my bikes have flat tires.

I saw an ambulance almost run over an old man who was jaywalking.

I'd prefer to curl up under a rock and sleep for a few days...

but radio on the internet will suffice.

Today is artwalk, buuuut I'm really just waiting it out.

Not too enthused. (about another artwalk crowd and a 11-hour workday)

Would rather be at the park on the water.

NK and I are E.T. and Elliot-ing it, both with our separate but equally interesting reactions to our new (and glorious) situation.

She's been pulling back from Frankfurt a.M. much in the same way that I have been shrinking back into my shell from Seattle.

I'm trying very hard not to fall into my age-old habits (a result of moving so often growing up) of ... well, not necessairily BURNING bridges, but kinda dousing them with gasoline just to make the separation easier.

Not sure if me being moody and snapping at people is a result of that or just of having 30+ days of guests, hmm...

Also have been relentlessly bombarded by either hypperreal or hyppersurreal dreams, some of which are a contuniation of life and others which rival the largest most big-budgeted special effects blockbusters Hollywood has/could ever produce.

Fell asleep watching Ab Fab.
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